Page 26 of Orc's Pride
It’s his will, I think, that they’re referring to. His eyes on mine are always determined, always calculating.
But not unkind.
He’s never hurt me, even when he threw me on the bed. Even when he wanted me to be afraid.
I’ve known true sadism, and he doesn’t have it in him, even after the demonstration with the dark elves. He didn’tenjoytorture for torture’s sake.
I’ve seen exactly what that looks like.
No, I’m not scared of Pitha. I think I can trust him with my past, if not my future. This might still be some sort of attempt to string me along, and I won’t put Old Malik at risk.
Taking a deep breath, I press the list close to my heart.
And I tell him.
“I was born in a human settlement twenty-eight years ago. It was before orcs considered humans to be anything more than slaves, and I thought we were so lucky.” I smile. It’s not a nice smile. “We were free.
“We had to move often, of course. And it wasn’t paradise. My mother lost several children before and after me, because we didn’t always have access to medicinal herbs, but by the time I was about twelve, we’d found this…” Why is this part harder to speak about than all the rest? “This idyllic valley, nestled between two mountains. For years, it was…”
Peaceful.
Years of my father’s rough, calloused hands on mine, helping me tie a fishing lure. Helping me patch our small boat, helping me skin small game, helping me plant seeds. And there were my mother’s hands, too, caressing my cheek when I fell ill, kneading bread with me in the kitchen, teaching me to change my sister’s cloth diapers, which I complained about at the time bitterly.
I’d need to know, she’d said, for when I had my own.
Pitha waits for me to continue, his thumb stroking my palm, but I can’t. It’s like swallowing glass.
How didn’t I know how precious those moments were at the time? I want to shake my past self, the selfish girl sneaking away from chores to go nap beneath a tree, or shrieking at her sister tostop crying, or complaining to her mother about eating fish for three nights in a row.
“One of the first portals opened in that valley.” I can still see it now, swirling and purple. I’d thought it was beautiful, at first, until the dark elves poured out with their strange beasts and stranger magic. “You can imagine how much of a fight we put up. It was humiliating, really. They captured nearly all of us alive.”
There aren’t really words precise enough to accurately describe what happened next. How my wild valley was overcome with oily gray buildings. The clinical cruelty of our new masters in their pristine white coats and glinting eyes.
“Humans were new to them, and they had lots to learn. There were experiments. How long, they wondered, could humans survive without food? Without water? Without air?” I can see it like it’s happening before me now. “Do humans burn, and at what temperature? If you cut them open, what organs do they have? Which do they truly need? Do I need to tell you about the poisons? Because I never knew there were so many.”
That was my role, tasting the poisons. I suppose I was lucky. At least I got some form of nourishment, since at first the elves fed us everything, not knowing what was toxic.
Something warm and solid presses against my cheek, and I realize it’s Pitha. He’s pulled me close against him, and I’ve returned the favor by soaking his bare chest with my tears. I push away with a sniffle, and he lets me.
“What happened?”
“People died.” I try to put some distance in my voice. It’s been so many years, and the elves who did it are dead. Their brethren will die, thanks to my efforts. It’s done now. There’s no reason to carry on like it’s still happening, but there’s a part of me that always sees it, and in vivid detail. “My family died. I escaped.”
He doesn’t ask how.
Pitha the Immovable bends until his forehead brushes mine, and his hand spans across my back.
He says, “You were very brave.”
It’s this, of all things, that unleashes a torrent of tears. Humiliated, I bury my face against his chest so he can’t see me break down.
“I wasn’t,” I gasp. “I was such a coward.”
“No.”
His certainty only makes the shame burn hotter in my throat.
“As soon as the orcs raided their village, I ran.” My hands twist painfully against each other until he smooths out my grip. “I ran, and I brought my parents, don’t you see? I carried my sister, like a fool. She didn’t want to come, because she was so scared, and I picked her up. I made her. Maybe if we would have just stayed put, we might have…but I shouted for them to run with me into the woods.”