Page 57 of The Dark Elf's Secret Baby
My heart hurts as I take in the frustration lining her face. I know it has to be hard for her, but there is no way for me to tell her that exposing us could sell me into slavery. More so than I already am.
I brush back her blonde hair, just like mine. In fact, everything about her is a mirror image of me. Except her eyes. Why is it always the eyes? Jas has his father’s violet eyes, too, but thankfully, Adelaide’s navy ones aren’t a uniquely elvish trait.
“You know that you can only use that when we’re home by ourselves. Other people don’t need to know about your magic, love.”
She crosses her arms and stamps her food. “But Jasper can use his! Why? Is it because he has a daddy now and I don’t?”
Fuck, that hurt. Her words hit me hard, and I recoil, pain written clearly on my face, I’m sure. My reaction is so much that my daughter softens, her arms falling limp.
I gather her up against me, smoothing out her hair. “No, no. It’s nothing like that.”
But the lie is bitter on my tongue. I know that it is a large part of the reason because if her father was here, he’d be teaching her how to use her magic. He’d be so proud of her, always showing her off. He never concealed his love for me, and I just know how much he would have loved sweet Addy.
“It’s just not safe for little girls to have magic,” I finally tell her, begging not to get the dreaded why when I don’t have an answer. I wish I could tell her why it’s so terrible for her to be half-human or for people to find out. But the truths of this world would be too much for my sweet girl.
I pull back to cup her face. “You remember where you got your magic?”
Adelaide nods slowly. “My daddy.”
I fight against the sting of tears. “That’s right. Your daddy. He gave you a precious gift, and you are so strong and so powerful, just like him. And because he was so strong and so powerful, we have to keep it a secret or bad things could happen, remember?”
She nods solemnly. This isn’t the first time we’ve had this talk. It’s not even the first time this week I’ve had to remind Adelaide about the dangers of her heritage. I understand at just three and a half she’s not going to grasp the gravity of such a situation but I try to put it into terms.
“So what does Mommy need you to do?”
“To be secret,” she mumbles.
I squeeze her tight, giving her a big smile like it’s the greatest, coolest thing in the world. “That’s right. I need you to be the best, most secretive spy you can be. It’s important, and it’s hard, but I know you can do it, love.”
Adelaide sighs, looking wistfully at where Jasper is waving at her across the room. “I’m sorry for using magic,” she mumbles softly, and I’m glad that she has the sense to keep quiet now. My heart’s been pounding relentlessly, even though we aren’t close enough to any dark elves for them to hear us.
Nor would they care enough to listen into our conversation.
“Okay. You can go play, now, and remember-”
“Be good!” she shouts over me as she takes off toward Jasper.
Heads turn as she whips through the crowd, but none of the dark elves say a word. She’s best friends with the Lieutenant’s son, so they all know to keep their mouths shut.
I sigh as I stand, brushing off the lap of my dress and adjusting my hair. I won’t stray too far from the kids, but I could use another drink. A small part of me is struggling with being back on the big continent, with all the memories it’s dredging up.
Even Layla doesn’t know about my past, and I didn’t want to burden her with it. So, I’ve been shouldering the weight of my old home alone, trying to make it through it.
And I know I will miss Layla and Jas when we go back to Zerva, but it will be good, too. I feel so heavy here, so overwhelmed. I miss the lightweight and freeing island with its salty air and its lack of heartbreaking memories.
Turning toward the drink station where one of the zagfer is filling glasses, I inwardly recoil. But I tell myself that I can do this, and I breath slowly through my nose as I take a drink for myself and move toward the children.
It’s not until I’m on the more deserted side of the room, an area of empty seats that overlooks the gardens below, that I really survey the room. Not that I will know anyone else her–
Oh.
Oh. No.
My eyes catch on long, white hair perfectly straight and hanging down a muscular back. Sharp, handsome features that I can just make out with his back turned mostly to me. And the cut of miou uniform that I recognize all too well.
I used to press that uniform.
My heart pounds painfully in my chest, and the room tilts. I worry I’m going to collapse and I sink slowly into an abandoned seat, my eyes never leaving him, even as he turns so I can longer see his face.