Page 14 of The Dark Elf's Secret Baby

“Okay,” she says. She’s so soft-spoken and kind. “Let’s just sit up for me, can you let me listen to your heart beating?” she asks. She produces a strange contraption that looks like a fluted instrument with a large end. Putting the large end at my chest, she listens from the smaller one.

“Sounds good. Nice and strong.” Nicola says after a few seconds. “So, I don’t think you’re sick,” she says carefully. “But tell me, have you had your monthly visitor recently?”

I try to think back. “Maybe last month?” I say, not entirely certain.

“Right,” she stands back up and sits on the stool next to my bed. “I think that I know what’s going on now. You’re pregnant.”

My head starts spinning again. The room seems to fade from view. Pregnant?

“It’s quite early on I think. You couldn’t be more than a month or so gone into your first term. Can I ask...are you alright with this news? If this is news that you are upset by, I can help you.”

I stare at her, trying to understand. “Was the conception under less than comfortable circumstances?” she asks gently. “If it was something bad, I have herbs for that.”

“No,” I shake my head, finally understanding. “The father is...is someone I care for. I want the baby. But can you please keep this a secret for now?”

“Of course,” Nicola assures me. “I am very discreet. But you need to start thinking about what you want to do if you’re going to keep the baby. Are you planning on telling the father?”

I think about it for a moment, trying to decide what I’m going to do but the thought of trying to decide what’s right feels so overwhelming.

“I can’t even think about him right now,” I tell her.

“Okay,” Nicola nods. “I just want to know if it’s someone that you planned to mate with. If not, I want to discuss your options. I have to tell you that in my personal and professional opinion, the mines are no place for a baby, or for a new mom. I think you ought to consider your options now, before you get farther along.”

I stare at her. She’s right. I haven’t even thought about that. How will I have a baby here in the camps? I can’t raise a baby here! I don’t want my child to grow up in the same life as me, to be worked to death in the mines.

I want more for them. For us.

“What can I do?” I ask, drawing my knees up to wrap my arms around them. “Is there something I can do? Somewhere safer I can go?”

“Yes,” Nicola nods. “I can help you, if you want. There are places you can go that are less strenuous than here. Or you can become an apprentice to someone in a different path. It’s up to you. If you want to stay here, we can find a way to transfer you into working for a seamstress or for one of the village cooks. You could take on an apprenticeship with the apothecary. It’s a little late for you to take on a healer apprenticeship but it’s not impossible,” she adds.

There are so many options, so much I could do that isn’t in the mines. But at the end of the day, I’d still be stuck here, in the camp. I’d be forced to watch the elves bully my child for being mixed race.

I can’t do that to him or her. There’s too much prejudice here. I need to get far away, somewhere more accepting.

“I think I want to go elsewhere,” I say after thinking it over. “Can you help with that?”

“Yes,” she says. “I can find you another place to transfer to. Would you care if it was far from here?”

“No, I don’t care where it is,” I tell her after a moment.

“Then it’s done. I have just the place in mind.”

Nicola and I discuss a few more things about the pregnancy and she stays to encourage me to get something light to eat. She is doing such a good job at looking out for me that it almost feels like I’m simply sick with a cold.

It hits me again though, out of the blue, after my light meal of eggs and toast. I’m pregnant. With Kerym’s baby. Everything is going to be changing now.

I can’t even figure out what I’m going to tell him yet. Or if I am. I just need to focus on getting through this morning. Just take everything one step at a time, for now.

10

Layla

Nicola packs her things up and leaves around mid-morning. Just as she’s leaving though, Amara comes back.

“Hey Layla,” she calls, letting herself in. What’s she doing home? Shouldn’t she be at work? What if she sees something that Nicola brought and gets suspicious?

She’s already suspicious enough. I don’t need this right now!