Page 105 of Touch of Hate

I can’t keep my voice from shaking as all the emotion I’ve had to bottle up so far threatens to come pouring out. It was inevitable, wasn’t it? Either I let it out or I die from it. “You’re trying to be careful. That’s good. But if they do have an arsenal? What then? You don’t even have a single gun.”

“I could change that.”

“Ren…” He goes blurry an instant before tears spill over my lashes and onto my cheeks. “How is this going to end? How do you honestly see this ending?”

“How do you think? With them regretting they were ever born.”

When all I can do is tip my head to the side while a sob bursts out of me, he groans and scrubs his hands through his hair. “What do you want me to say? We’re going to kill them. We’re putting an end to it.”

“Who are they? How many people does that include? When does it stop?”

“Scarlet—”

I flinch out of the way when he reaches for me because I know how this will end if I let him place a hand on me. I’ll forget why I was so upset in the first place. That’s the power he has over me. The hold. He’s had it since the first day I saw his face and heard his voice, and that hold has only gotten stronger with time.

“I want to talk this out. I need to. Don’t you get that?” I pound my palm against my chest, but it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as the idea of losing him.

Not when we’ve finally found our way to each other.

“Okay.” He blows out another sigh that puffs out his cheeks. He’s staying calm. That’s a good sign. Maybe it was the tears or the fact that I won’t let him touch me. He knows I’m serious, how important this is.

The only problem is, now that I have his attention and he’s in control of his temper, I don’t know what to say.

Why not start with the truth? “I love you.”

A brief smile touches his lips. “I love you, too. Always.”

I touch my chest again, this time leaving my hand over my heart. “For years, all I could do was think about you. Want you. I craved you for so long. You know I did.”

“You made life impossible for me,” he murmurs with a soft chuckle.

“I know. I wasn’t about to give up on you. On us. Because I knew, I knew it in my soul, that you were the only man I would ever love. You’re my soul mate. We were meant to be together.”

“I agree with you.”

“So how do you think it makes me feel to know you could throw it all away? For… revenge?”

He holds up a hand, breathing heavier than before.

I’m pushing him, aren’t I? But dammit, I deserve to have my say. This is supposed to be a relationship, not a one-way street.

“Listen,” I whisper, struggling to keep my own emotions in check before I do something stupid like start screaming or throwing things. “If you were to be shot… if I lost you…”

I have to turn my head away, my chest so tight I can hardly breathe.

“Just thinking about it hurts. It hurts so much. The thought of you dying or not being here.”

“Don’t think about it, then.”

“Right.” I bark out a disbelieving laugh, my head swinging around to face him again. “It’s that easy. Though honestly, I guess it should be. I’ve had to stop thinking about unpleasant things my entire life. Just think about something nice, or maybe try not to think about anything at all. Is that what you’re asking me to do?”

“It might help.”

“Seriously?”

“What else do you want me to say?”

“That you’ll stop this? Maybe?”