Page 56 of Blush

“Thanks.”

After Roger has christened a fire hydrant, I bring him back up to the apartment.

And there’s Mandy, taking care of me. Already, she’s making the couch into a bed. She walks to her closet, pulls out sheets, grabs a pillow.

All the while, I simply watch her.

“Are you hungry? I can make you a sandwich. Ham on rye?”

I shake my head.

“Glass of water? Or I can brew a pot of coffee.”

I shake my head again. I don’t need coffee. I haven’t been drinking. I never have more than one drink at the club. I feel very strongly about having all my wits about me when a sub is under my care.

“A drink?” Mandy asks. “I’ve got some bourbon. Vodka. I’m sorry, but I’m out of gin.”

She’s out of gin—Tanqueray—because she buys it for me and always pours me a gin and tonic when I’m here. That’s okay. I need something a little stronger to soothe me tonight. “Yeah, if it’s not too much trouble. Bourbon. Neat.”

She nods.

“Join me?” I say.

“I had two sidecars at Rossi’s. I’m good.” She pours a finger of bourbon into a glass and hands it to me. Then she sits down on the edge and motions for me to sit next to her. “Spill it,” she says. “What’s wrong, Jack?”

“Nothing.”

“Right. Because you show up at my place after midnight on a Friday night when nothing is bothering you. Happens all the time.”

“Maybe itshouldhappen more often, Mandy Cake.”

“Didn’t we talk about Mandy Cake?”

She’s right, of course. I’ve eaten this woman’s pussy. My dick has been inside her. I can no longer call her Mandy Cake.

“So what’s going on?” she asks again.

I sigh, take a sip of my bourbon, let the smooth silkiness burn my throat. “This is good. What is it?”

“You don’t recognize it? It’s the Basil Hayden’s you got me three years ago when you came over for dinner with Frankie and Penn.”

It comes back to me then.

How much I’ve taken this woman for granted.

“I thought it was funny at the time,” she continues, “because you know I don’t drink bourbon, and you don’t normally drink it, either, but youdodrink it when something’s bugging you.”

She’s not wrong. What a self-absorbed bastard I’ve been to her.

All this time…

She was always here for me.

I didn’t mean to be so self-absorbed. I love this woman.

God, I love her. I’ve always loved her, but what I’m feeling now…

It’s more frightening than what happened between Blossom and me tonight.