Page 36 of The Last Casterglass
“I suppose,” Seph replied, once again feeling her way through the words, the emotions. “I don’t want to be tied to a place anymore. Any place. Beholden to a pile of bricks and mortar, so your whole life revolves around it. I want to experience things—I want tolivea little, more than I have, anyway. Try new things. Be daring. Explore.” She laughed, pressing her hands to her hot cheeks. “I didn’t realise I was going to say all that. I’m not even sure I knew I felt it.” She shook her head, embarrassed but also relieved. It had felt good to admit it all. Good and even important to acknowledge it to herself, never mind to Oliver or anyone else. “Everyone thinks I’m a homebody,” she finished, “but I want the chance to see if I’m not one, after all.”
Oliver nodded slowly. “I can understand that,” he said after a moment. There was a tinge of sorrow to his voice that made Seph anxious.
“Do you think I’m crazy? Or selfish? Or—”
“Seph, I don’t think you’re anything but wonderful.” He met her gaze directly and the warmth in his eyes, the sincerity in his tone, made her feel jolted, as if she’d stuck her finger or really her whole body into an electrical socket. Everything was suddenly alight. Blazing.
“You—do?” she asked uncertainly.
“Yes, I do.” He sounded firm and matter-of-fact in a way that made her smile. How could he be so sure? And yet, wonderfully, he was. She opened her mouth to tell him that she thought he was wonderful too, but somehow she just couldn’t find the courage. In any case, Oliver didn’t give her much opportunity.
“Now, come on,” he said, holding out his hand so she felt she had to take it, which was no bad thing at all. The slide of his palm against hers thrilled her, just as it had the last time she’d taken his hand.
“We’ve spent enough time in this hovel,” he declared with a smile. “Let’s walk back to the castle by the beach rather than through that muddy field.” He waggled his eyebrows as he gave her a teasing, mischievous look. “If you want to experience things, well, there’s no time like the present, is there?”
Chapter Fourteen
The sky hadcleared to a paler grey with wisps of blue visible through the clouds as Oliver and Seph walked along the lane towards the beach. Oliver’s head was buzzing with everything Seph had told him—he felt like throttling Althea, but he also felt like groaning aloud.I don’t want to be tied to a place anymore. Any place. Beholden to a pile of bricks and mortar, so your whole life revolves around it.
Well, it didn’t get much clearer than that, did it? Seph had sounded so passionate when she’d told him that, and Oliver’s incredulous hope that she would be willing to leave Casterglass—if it ever came to that, for them, which admittedly was a long way off—had suddenly crumbled to dust. If she didn’t want to be tied to Casterglass, she wouldn’t want to be tied to the far more modest Pembury.
Except why was he even thinking that way? They weren’t dating, even if they’d become friends. Good friends,reallygood. Still, it was a long way from asking someone to spend her life with you, and yet…
Oliver knew that was the way he was starting to think. To hope and to long for, because the time he spent with Seph was precious and sweet, and he didn’t want to give it up. He wanted more of it, lots more. He thought of how she’d felt so briefly in his arms, and he knew he wanted a lot more of that, too.
Was he crazy to think she might, as well? When he’d told her she was wonderful, she’d looked astounded, but also pleased. But, Oliver reminded himself, she hadn’t said he was wonderful back, or even okay or merely adequate. She hadn’t said anything at all, which was why he’d decided to move the conversation on, before it got too awkward and he jumped in and said all sorts of things he knew she wasn’t ready for, because that was the way he tended to operate.
Seph was looking lost in thought as they walked along, and while the silence was companionable, Oliver felt the need todosomething. She’d said she wanted to experience things, to live life to the full and all that jazz—well, he wanted to help her. Why not start now?
They’d come to the end of the lane, which tapered off into a sandy track that led right down to the sand. The tide was out, so the little cove was a smooth sweep of damp, golden sand, the frothy waves lapping the now-distant shore, the air clear and cold. Very cold.
Oliver stopped where he stood.
It took Seph a few moments to clock he’d stopped, and she turned back to face him, eyebrows raised. “What is it?” she asked. “Why are you staring out at the sea like that?”
Oliver turned to her. “Let’s go swimming.”
“Swimming?” She goggled at him, understandably. “Oliver, it’s freezing. It’s also almost Christmas. In Cumbria. Are youcrazy?”
He shrugged, smiling, determined, filled with a sudden, surging lightness, almost like joy. Maybe he was crazy. “Maybe, probably?” he said. “But you know what they say about wild swimming…how invigorating it is. Who is that guy who swears by sub-zero temperatures?” She shook her head slowly, still disbelieving. “Wim Hof, that’s who. I’ve watched his YouTube videos.”
“I’ve never heard of him.”
“Well, if you’d had, you’d be impressed. He’s like a real-life superman. He’s got a six-pack at sixty years old, and he’s all about the amazing benefits of cold therapy—like, sitting on an iceberg for three hours or something.”
“Sounds fun,” Seph returned drily, and Oliver grinned.
“Don’t worry, there are no icebergs here. Let’s have a quick dip, to wake up all your senses.” With a heady sense of recklessness, enjoying the moment, he unzipped his coat.
Seph’s eyes widened. “Are you…stripping?”
“Down to my boxers, yes,” he replied with far more confidence than he actually felt, while she goggled all the more. “I will remain modestly clothed, I assure you.”
“You’ll catch your death of cold—”
He arched an eyebrow as he shucked off his coat. “I thought you wanted to live a little?”
“Not by starting with a death wish!” She shook her head, exasperated now, but a smile was flirting with her lips and Oliver thought he could convince her. He hoped so, considering he was taking off his clothes. It would be rather embarrassing to have to swim alone. What madness had gripped him, he wasn’t even sure, because he didn’t particularly enjoy swimming even in the mildest of weather. As for the middle of winter…