Page 8 of #PhiThetaForever

I don't glance at my phone or watch again for a while as we all go back to studying. Someone clears their throat, but I'm right in the middle of reading an extremely wordy paragraph about molecules, trying to be very selective about what I highlight for my notes. Justus bumps my arm with his elbow, and I bump him back, trying not to laugh. "Stop."

"Lena." Justus's voice is low and slightly strained, making me look up from my textbook.

He's staring across the room, and I follow his eyes, finally landing on Declan as he walks toward our table slowly. Jackson and Darcy are both behind him, his hands are shoved in his pockets, and his face is banged up good.

"What happened to your face?" I stand up and walk around the table, stopping in front of him.

He winces and sucks in a sharp breath as I gently hold his head and turn it to get a better look at the cut above his eyebrow and the bruise that runs from his eye socket to the start of his jaw. "Uh, Darcy happened."

My jaw drops open, and I lean to the side to look around him. Darcy is smirking with her hands on her hips. "Bet it will be a good minute before he fucks up that bad again."

"Language, Darcy," Candice snaps as she gathers her books and shoves them into her bag. She stops next to me and hugs me tightly before turning toward Declan. "If you ever do something like that again, Declan Harp—" Her voice breaks, and tears shine in her eyes, bringing them to the surface of my own. "I swear on my life, I will hurt you myself. And then I will call your mother." Candice steps up and hugs Declan as well, and his arms go around her, his face buried in her hair as he whispers, "I'm sorry."

She lets go of him and nods, gently squeezing his arm as she walks around him to Jackson. He nods at me with a pained expression on his face before taking Candice's hand and leaving the library. A light hand on my shoulder draws my attention to my other side, where Justus stands, his book bag on his shoulder. "I'm going to go." His voice is soft and steady, which is exactly what I need. "Text if you need anything. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I swallow hard and lean in to hug him around his stomach. He puts both arms around my shoulders and briefly squeezes me before letting me stand up straight. "Tomorrow, two o'clock."

He gives me a mega smile and nods. As Justus looks down to walk past Declan, Declan reaches out and grabs his bicep. Fear floods my veins, and I pray quietly that Declan doesn't do anything stupid. Not that he has points in that department. Justus lifts his head and looks Declan right in the eye, not a shred of fear or cowardice or even indecision on his face.

"Thank you," Declan says, letting go of his arm and holding out his hand.

Justus's face softens, and he takes Declan's hand for a moment before they pull each other into a one-armed hug. "Just don't make a habit of it, D."

"I won't. I promise." Declan lets Justus go, and then it's just the two of us. I look around and realize there literally isn't anyone left in the library except Darcy, who is all the way across the room sitting at a table with her books out and her earbuds in.

I want to slap the hell out of him, but at the same time, I want to kiss him until he makes the ache in my chest go away. I need him to explain. To give me a real reason why he did something so stupid. Like we haven't been through enough. I know that when I was at my worst last year, Declan stuck by me. Even when I broke up with him and pretty much ran from him, he never gave up on me—on us. He loved me while I was trying to learn how to love myself again.

Last night he made a mistake—a colossal mistake. But if God can forgive us for all that humanity has done, then what place do I have staying angry with Declan the first time he ever does something wrong to me. I look up at him, and he opens his mouth, but I throw my hands around his neck and press our lips together. My head tilts to the side, my tongue practically fighting to dance with his.

Declan's hands seem to be everywhere all at once. Rubbing my back, skimming across my rear-end, running up my sides, and barely missing my breasts. All the while, he never stops kissing me. Never misses a beat. By the time I pull away, I'm unable to breathe and on the verge of hyperventilating. Declan keeps pulling me toward him and kissing my lips over and over again until I'm light-headed and can't think straight.

"I'm so sorry, Lena." His hands grasp at me desperately, like he's afraid if he stops pulling me closer, I'll run away or something. "Baby, I'm sorry."

I'm breathless as I pull back at him, running my hands over his head, shoulders, and chest. "Don't ever do that again."

"I won't, Lena. I promise. Baby, I promise." His lips skim from my mouth to my neck.

"I love you, Declan."

Finally, he stops and looks me in the eyes. Tears spill down his face, and immediately, I wipe them away. Gently, he cups my head in his hands and runs his thumb over my slightly swollen lips. "I love you, Lena. And I am so, so sorry."

"I know. I believe you."

Declan pulls me to him and cradles my head against his chest. My arms wrap around him, and I breathe in the familiar scent of him. I don't know what to do. Staying mad won't help. Forgiveness is what everyone, and the church, always preach. It's the foundation on which our faith has been laid.

So, for now, I'm going with forgiveness.

9 Declan

I've spent the last four days by Lena's side, doing everything I can to make up for last weekend. Tonight, we've got a football game against California, but Lena isn't coming because she's picking Jas up from the bus station. We rented a car for the weekend. Jas and Lena are having a memorial night tonight for the anniversary of the school shooting. Jackson and I got paper lanterns that we're going to release with the names of every victim, including the shooter, who Lena insisted we include.

I've got about an hour after the game to get showered and meet them. I'm actually looking forward to seeing Jas. She was supposed to join us here, but her grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer over the summer, so she chose to stay near home for college to help her mom take care of her. She told Lena that maybe when her grandmother passes, she'll consider transferring, but she says she needs to be with family right now–except this weekend. This weekend is an agreement between her and Lena to keep them both on the path to healing.

Bo texted me earlier asking if I was down for a get-together after the game. I declined. There's no way I'm hanging with him and making Lena furious at me again. Walking into the locker room, I send her another quick text, telling her I love her and for her and Jas to be safe. Also, reminding her that I'd see her at the botanical garden in town after the game to release the lanterns with Jackson and Candice.

I suit up and head to the front of the locker room for the Coach's pep talk, barely paying attention and almost slam into Bo.

"Focus, D-man. We need you on point tonight. Gotta show Colorado U who's boss in this division." He slams his hands down on my shoulder pads with a smile on his face. "D, listen, I wanted to talk to you about something."