Page 80 of #Lovestrong

Declan

The last two days have been the most awkward and tension-filled Lena and I’ve had in a long time. After the fiasco that was Thanksgiving, she excused herself and went to bed early. I spent the evening with her friends and family before joining her. She was already asleep, her back to me.

I'd hoped when we woke up the following day, she'd be okay. She tried to pretend like she was, but I know she isn't. She's overly quiet and there's hesitation in every hug and every kiss she's given me since. I knew coming here was a potential disaster. I've prayed for the last two days that when we get back home, things will go back to normal.

I don't want to lose her, and that's exactly what this feels like. Like she's putting more distance between us each and every moment we're together.

"Flight 152 is now boarding," a loud female voice says over the airport intercom.

Mr. Harrison stands at the same time Lena does. I walk behind them toward the gate. Lena stares at the floor as she walks with her hands shoved in her back jean pockets. At least she has a therapy appointment tomorrow. Maybe talking to her therapist about what happened will help get her back on track.

Lena stops at the boarding entrance and turns to her dad. "I'll text you when we land."

He reaches out and pulls her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. She barely even puts her arms around him, and his pain is obvious as he squeezes her tighter and closes his eyes.

My chest tightens, every warning bell in my brain going off that things with her are bad. Immediately, I shut them down. Thinking like that isn't going to help anyone. I have to stay positive and believe in the progress Lena has already made, and trust God is going to get her through this setback.

That's all this is— a small setback she can overcome. She's already climbed some of the biggest hurdles ever to be thrown in her direction. This isn't nearly as bad as those. She can do this. We can do this.

Lena turns and walks to the woman checking tickets. I take a few steps forward and hold my hand out to Mr. Harrison.

He grasps it firmly and jolts me forward as he yanks on my arm, leaning in close to my ear. "Keep her safe, Declan. I'm counting on you."

Tears shine in his eyes as he steps back and lets go of my hand. "Of course, Sir."

Turning, I follow Lena onto the plane. Before I'm even seated, she's settled with her seatbelt on, eyes closed, her body turned slightly away from my seat and toward the window. I sigh and reach over to lay my hand over hers. She doesn't react. No entangling her fingers with mine, no gentle squeeze, not even a twitch of surprise that I'd touched her.

Nothing.

Closing my eyes, I lean my head back on my headrest. Lord, please don't let me lose her. Please.

After a three-hour flight, full of silence, I'm surprisingly exhausted. Lena and I pull up in front of her house and I kill the engine, rubbing me eyes.

"Declan?"

"Yeah, baby?" I run my hands down my face and sit up, twisting to face her.

"Grandma wants to take me to therapy tomorrow, okay?"

My eyes widen, a little surprised. It's been months since I've missed one of her appointments. "Uh, sure, baby. Whatever you want."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow." She goes to open the car door, but I reach over and gently grab her arm.

"Lena, please talk to me."

She sighs loudly and turns toward me. After staring at me for a moment, she leans in and kisses me fully on the lips. It's the most active kiss I've gotten in days. As if someone has lit a fire under us, she tilts her head and climbs over the center console.

In moments, we're all sighs and tongues, and my hands are tangled in her hair. When she pulls away, she's panting, trying to catch her breath, and so am I. Gently, she kisses my lips one more time before moving back over the console and opening her car door. When she climbs out, I catch just a glimpse of her face and it almost looks like there's tears in her eyes.

What the hell?

I almost get out and grab her, but she practically runs up the stairs. I shake my head as an eerie heaviness settles in my chest. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that was a goodbye kiss. But Lena won't do that to me. We've been through too much for her to just give up on us and walk away. No, whatever this feeling is, it's something else.

It has to be.