Page 101 of Kiss the Girl

FIFTEEN

All around them, life was going on. As they walked out of the hospital, Savannah wanted to scream with frustration. Didn’t anyone know or care that her entire world was just shattered? That Jackson and Garrett and Austin’s lives would never be the same?

They were like the walking wounded and as soon as they stepped outside into the fresh air, it didn’t give her the same sense of relief she thought it would. It didn’t matter how many deep breaths she took; it didn’t make her feel better. Cash was the last person in her family. The last connection to anything in her life and now she was completely alone.

She didn’t realize that she had doubled over and was crying until Jackson gently helped her straighten and then just held her.

Then Garrett and Emma joined in and did the same.

She had no concept of time. Savannah had no idea how long they stood there like that, but eventually, it was down to just her and Jackson and then he led her to his car. The drive was made in total silence and she was relieved that they went to his place. There was no way she could handle being at the house surrounded by all of Cash’s things.

As soon as they were in the apartment, Jackson led her to the bedroom and helped her undress before handing her one of his t-shirts to put on. Helping her into bed, he pulled the blankets up and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered.

She had no idea how long he was gone because she instantly fell asleep.

The next time she opened her eyes, the sun was up and she was completely surrounded by Jackson. For a moment, she simply let herself relish in the feel of him—the warmth of his skin, his breath on her shoulder. Waking up like this every day wouldn’t be a hardship.

She just didn’t know if she could take the risk of getting her hopes up and then having him grow tired of her because of her health or her insecurities or…just her in general. There was safety in walking away. If she never put herself out there again, she couldn’t get hurt.

And Savannah was really tired of getting hurt.

Jackson would never hurt me…

Yeah, in her heart, she knew that. She truly did, but everything about their relationship was based on a deeply emotional situation. Oh, how she wished they could have just stayed as the couple who met at the pub. To just be fun and flirty and have the time they spent together just be filled with light and laughter.

And fantastic sex.

Now, with Cash gone, that connection was gone too. Who were they going to be without it?

In a perfect world, they could go back to that night and start over. Just introduce themselves to each other and eat and laugh and dance and have a steamy kiss goodnight and be one of those couples that make everyone envious.

The sigh was out before she could stop it, but fortunately, Jackson didn’t wake up.

Carefully, she slid out of the bed and tiptoed out of the room. In the kitchen, she went and made herself a cup of coffee and prayed Jackson would stay asleep a little longer. She needed this time by herself to just think and come to grips with the fact that this was her life now. Her father was gone, Cash was gone, and it felt like she was drowning in grief. To lose them both so close together was just…it was more than she could bear and now that she was awake and the reality was hitting her, it felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Her chest ached, her stomach clenched, and it was all she could do to stay upright.

“Oh God…”

It didn’t seem possible for her to have any more tears left, and yet they fell in earnest as she crumbled to the floor. The war waging internally was whether to call out to Jackson because she needed him or to handle this alone because…because.

Ultimately, she stayed on the floor alone and cried and that’s where Jackson found her a little while later.

“Holy shit,” he murmured before rushing to her side. “What happened? Are you okay?” He frantically looked her over as if searching for an injury. “Savannah?”

“It all just hit me,” she sobbed. “He’s gone. They’re all gone and…and…I’m a…alone…and…”

He never let her finish. Pulling her into his arms, he held her while she cried and, as comforting as it was, it also felt a little suffocating.

When she gently pulled back, she took one look at his face and knew he was hurting too, but…she couldn’t handle it right now.

She couldn’t handle any of it.

“I’m so sorry, Jackson,” she whispered as she caressed his jaw one last time. “I can’t do this. I…I’m sorry.”

With that, she got to her feet and went into the bedroom to get dressed, but he was two steps behind her.

“I don’t understand. What is happening right now?”