Page 97 of Accidental Fae (Fae War Chronicles 1)

“I can relate to that,” he says, sadly. “After Niahm was killed—after what my mate did—I lost my head. You once asked me if I had ever known peace. I did when Niahm was a child. Before I met—” he swallows hard. “Before I was pushed into a mating ceremony I never really wanted.”

The confession on his lips pains him, that much is clear, and it catches me off guard. “But she was your mate.”

“I didn’t love her,” he replies. “My magic wanted her, it sensed a match, but she was always so—entitled. And never satisfied.”

The idea that the man before me couldn’t satisfy someone seems impossible. “She always wanted more?”

“She did. More power, more attention, more of everything, and I was honor-bound to the king, to my family.” He closes his eyes and turns his face up. “She asked me to take the throne, tried to convince me that the king was weak, that he was not as good a man as everyone believed.”

“Did you try?”

“Of course, not. The king was a good, fair man. Everyone loved him. By then, I’d seen enough to know she was never going to be happy. I told her to leave, to go where she wanted, that she was free of me, but that was not enough. She trapped Niahm, convinced her that I was injured, and then…” He trails off and lowers his face again, eyes shut tightly.

I’m hanging on every word; every moment of this horrible turn of events that led to the man before me.

“She sold her to a dark fae who murdered her. I’d been too late—missed rescuing her by minutes because Taranus had managed to get himself into a bind with one of the other guards. I’d lost my sister, protecting the brother who ended up turning on me.”

Rubbing the heel of my palm against my chest, I attempt to ease the ache. The burdens Rafferty carries, they are so damned heavy, and none of it is his fault.

“I found my mate in bed with the dark fae. I killed him, absorbed the magic, and then turned on her. When she tried to get onto her knees and ‘make up’ for what she’d done, I ripped her up and delivered her to the king.”

“She honestly thought giving you a blow-job was going to fix the fact that she’d had your sister murdered?”

He nods.

“What a psychotic bitch.”

A muscle in his jaw twitches, and he turns his head to the side. “I’d been so consumed by the dark magic; I’d very nearly considered doing as she’d asked. Taking the throne, it was Heelean who saved me. And then, when I was out on a mission, they were attacked.” He gets to his feet and leans back against the cavern wall. “My life is riddled with failure, Ember. I cannot fail with you.”

I get up and cross the cavern to him, stopping when I’m a few feet away. “You won’t fail with me.”

“I nearly have,” he whispers. “So many times. Every single moment I am in your presence, I fight the urge to simply take you somewhere none of this will touch us. Faerie is vast. We could run. Hide.”

“The bond with Taranus?”

“We can find someone to break it. Then live out our days happy.”

“Except you wouldn’t be,” I say as I cross toward him. “And neither would I. Not knowing what we sacrificed.”

“Therein lies my dilemma. I believe that I am honor-bound to help you find your other half. That whatever is between us is merely lust—a craving.”

I let him cheapen what I feel because it seems the only thing keeping him grounded, but it pisses me off. “I—”

“Did you hear that?” He cuts me off and tilts his head to the side.

“Hear what?” I listen, but all I can hear is the sound of rain hammering the ground outside.

“That!” he rushes out into the storm.

“Rafferty!” I follow, gathering the skirt of my dress as I race out after him.

“Call to me!” he yells.

Still, I hear nothing. “What is happening?”

“Someone is hurt!” He runs so quickly that I lose sight of him in the trees.

Panic races through my veins as I scan, barely able to see a few feet in front of me. “Rafferty!”