Page 84 of Accidental Fae (Fae War Chronicles 1)
Chapter23
Rafferty
I’ve never longed for the death of anyone with my blood in their veins, but Taranus is my new exception. As I sit on the bank beside a bubbling stream, building a fire that will hopefully keep the creatures away tonight, I think of all the ways I want to kill him.
Hell, I’ve already condemned myself more times than I care to count. What is one more strike against my honor?
I’m feeling things for a woman I have no business wanting. But the weight of these feelings—of these needs burning in my veins—is crushing.
Against my better judgment, I allow my gaze to drift over to where she sits, eyes closed, leaning back against the boulder. She’s fully dressed now, and a light breeze carries through the trees, lifting strands of her fire hair and delivering it behind her shoulder.
It’s despicable, to want someone who is the future for someone else.
Not Taranus, but the rightful king. For all I know, he could be someone I know, someone I care for. And here I am, imagining all the ways I could make love to the woman on this embankment. In the water. Against that fucking boulder, her legs wrapped around me as I drive into her over and over again, bringing her—I shake my head and force the images from my brain.
I cannot think of such things. Doing so, especially while she’s partially bonded to Taranus, is a horrible breach of the code I’ve spent my life serving.
Downplaying her connection with my bastard of a brother was the only way to calm her…but truthfully? If we cannot break the connection or they do not finish the unification with the second blood transfer—over my dead fucking body—she will begin to die. They will both die.
Even with all of that aside, even without considering the fact that I am soul-bound to a fae steadily rotting away in the Veil, I am not the man for Ember. What she deserves is a hell of a lot more than half a man—half a fae—incapable of giving her the life she deserves.
She moans, and her lips part, head falling to the side. When her brows draw together, I sense the shift around her. Where she’d been at peace, discomfort takes over, and anguish abounds.
And I’m helpless to save her from it. Just as I was helpless to save her from Taranus. The log in my hand snaps, and I toss it into the fire before getting to my feet to gather more. Seeing her shoulder, our family crest carved into her milky flesh, there’d been a moment there where the dark power in my blood shifted.
It surged forward, adrenaline pumping, red invading my vision.
But her words—her sweet, deadly-to-me voice—brought me back into the light.
Why in the bloody hell would destiny deliver me a woman who consumes me, even knowing I cannot have her? Have I truly offended that horribly?
Ember cries out in her sleep, so I rush forward, unsure what to do but knowing I cannot simply sit by and watch it happen. Then, she whispers, “No. Please—”
“Ember.” Gripping her shoulder, I gently shake her.
Caramel eyes open slowly, and she blinks rapidly, coming out of her nightmare slowly. “Rafferty?”
Why is my name on her lips such sweet fucking torment? I’d take a thousand lashings before I allow anything to touch her. In sleep or waking moments. “You were having a nightmare.”
She stares at me a moment longer, and I study the freckles dotting her cheeks, the one right at the corner of her mouth. I want to press my lips to it, want to caress her skin with my tongue, the tips of my fingers.
Maybe— I release her and get to my feet. Distance. I need distance before I fucking lose it.
Because the painful truth is that she’s not mine.
She willneverbe mine.
Ember is far too pure to belong to a damned man like me.
“Thank you for waking me.”
“Of course. The fire is nearly ready.”
“Are you sure this is the best place for us? Taranus is probably looking for us.”
“He is most definitely looking for you, but you need rest. I will keep watch to ensure you remain safe.”
“What about you?”