Page 9 of Mister Sexy Pants

5

His First Appearance

Veronica

The Virgin Club

Breaking the Good News to Your Date

If you’re going to have a crush, you might as well name that crush. I gave mine a name today.

I call him Mister Sexy Pants. I’ve seen him around once or twice. Fine, fine, one time we talked, the other time I just stared like a peeping Tom as he walked past me on the street below.

But I don’t think anyone could blame me. He’s witty, funny, and so easy on the eyes.

He’s also become the object of my fantasies. Yep. I’m not afraid to admit I’ve whispered my crush’s name alone at night with my battery-operated friends.

I’ve asked him to do unholy things to my body alone in the dark.

Hell, I’ve begged.

Which makes me wonder . . .

How would I tell him about my V-card if we ever had the chance?

Therevealis a thing the unplucked have to consider.

Some might think a virgin’s top worry is how it’ll feel when she finally does the deed. And, if you’re into guys, there’s the will-it-fit question.

Me? The thing that keeps me up at night is how I’m going to break the ice.

If we go out for drinks, do I order a virgin Piña Colada, give the drink a coquettish look, then say,The cocktail isn’t the only virgin here?

Or I could say,Wanna put your Piña in my Colada sometime?

Maybe I take him shopping for olive oil, hold up a bottle of extra virgin and say,This, me, same.

But those feel twee.

Then there’s the super direct approach. Over a cup of coffee, I could clear my throat, then say, “Hey, I haven’t ever tried reverse cowgirl, girl on top, doggy style, or any variation on the above, but I’d really like to with you.”

First date, fifth date, text, in person? What’s a never-been-touched-down-there gal to do? Do you treat it like a secret or a fact?

I’m here to tell you the choice is all yours. There is no right or wrong way. You don’t owe it to anyone to reveal it intheirtime. Do it in your own time.

Say it when you meet. Or don’t say it when you meet. Share it over drinks or coffee. Or don’t. Wait till the fifth date or the tenth or the first. It’s your virginity. It’s not anyone else’s.

As for me, when I meet the right guy, I’ll probably keep it simple and say something like, “Want to go where only a battery-operated friend has gone before?”

Until then, I’ll be picturing Mister Sexy Pants . . .

Your Friendly Neighborhood Virgin