Page 172 of Only After We Met
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: RE: Got a question
Relax, Ginger. What were you thinking? Something bad? All I meant was, if I hadn’t been a total disaster, if I hadn’t spent mywhole life running into a wall, if I had just stuck to the straight and narrow, Leon wouldn’t have affected me the way he did. But that wasn’t the case. I think of him almost the way I think of you. (Now, now, don’t get jealous, Ginger Snap.) He’s…perfect. You were right, babies smell wonderful. That reminds me, you’ve hardly told me anything about him, about how everything happened. You just showed up with a baby in your arms, and I missed out on the two years in between. Be nice and bring me up to date.
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: I am nice
There’s not much to tell, Rhys. You didn’t exactly give me a wealth of details about what you were doing in all that time either, though I’m smart enough to take a guess…
James and I tried to have a baby right away. Sometimes I think it was the desire to be parents that pushed us to keep trying rather than any real romantic feelings toward each other. It seems crazy, right? But if I’m honest, I think that was it. The pregnancy was easy. I didn’t really get morning sickness or any other pains, so I could focus on my work and my yoga classes (which I need to get back into). I was so busy, it flew past. James was working all the time then too. And one day, it was like Leon was just there.
He was a big boy—more than seven pounds. I can’t tell you how much it hurt, pushing him out. It was worth the effort though. As soon as I had him in my arms, all the blood, sweat,and tears were forgotten, and I just looked into his little face. It was the most wonderful moment in my life.
I need to let you go, Rhys. He’s up and he won’t stop crying. I hope you’re good, despite everything you’re having to deal with there. Kisses. Lots of them.
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: RE: I am nice
I wish I hadn’t missed that moment, Ginger. I’d have loved to be by your side. Seriously, I should have been there, in the waiting room. Just like I should have been here, at home, all those Christmases, birthdays, any other time I could have gotten away. I know you told me not to feel bad, but I have this feeling still, stuck there, this feeling I missed important things that can never be repeated. Why? For nothing. I think about all we talked about, the things I did during those two years, and the only thing that I can come up with is that I recorded an album and a single. What else? The rest is just emptiness. I met a lot of girls, went out a lot of nights, filled my phone contacts with a bunch of people who don’t know me and I don’t want to know. And I bought a house I don’t really like.
Yeah. So things here are going well. We’ve got a kind of routine, except when Dad has a bad day. Otherwise, it feels like I’ve traveled back in time. I sleep like a baby. I’m eating better. My mom won’t shut up about my diet. I’m feeling relaxed. Nextweek we’re releasing our first single to try to drum up some interest, but I’m not doing any promo. I’ve decided to focus on the stuff I actually like.
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: Mistakes
Rhys, it’s inevitable to think sometimes you’ve made mistakes, but what really matters is you’re there now, where you need to be. And those two years didn’t change anything between us—not anything important, at any rate. Maybe we needed them. Did you ever think that? Maybe you needed to hit bottom to realize what you really wanted. Maybe I needed to get away from you to make my own mistakes. Because I did, you know that, right? I did make mistakes. We’d all like to get into a time machine and change what we’ve done.
But let’s talk about your new interests…
What is the stuff you actually like?
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: Things
You, more than anything.
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: RE: Things
Stop being an idiot.
From: Rhys Baker