Page 50 of All That We Are Together
“We’ll practice; don’t worry.”
“Okay.” I looked at him indecisively, not knowing if it was time to say goodbye and go, or if we still had details to go over.
“Do you have something you need to do right now?”
“Nothing concrete. Why?”
“I was wondering… The waves are good today, so I was thinking you might want to take the board out for a while, you know.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea…”
“Why not?”
“To start, because I haven’t done it in three years.”
Axel looked confused. Then he rested his hands on his desk and leaned in toward me.
“Did I hear that right? You haven’t surfed in three years?”
“That’s right.” I giggled.
“Give me a fucking break.”
“It’s just how things are.” I stood up.
“Wait. Come do it. This afternoon.”
“Axel…”
“Just for a bit.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said before leaving.
43
Axel
Honestly, I didn’t expect her to show up on my doorstep, but still, her absence hurt. The sun was already setting on the horizon when I decided to grab a board and take the path down to the shore. The sea was choppy that day, the waves good. I got in and stopped thinking of anything as I slipped, fell, and got back on.
I don’t know how long I was there when I saw her.
She was close to the shore, with a longboard she’d grabbed off my porch under her arm and a tiny red bikini that immediately captured my attention. I wanted to take it off and lick the skin beneath it and have everything go back to the way it was before. Every time I remembered how distant that possibility was, it felt like a blow to the stomach.
I swam over to her.
“Didn’t think you were coming.”
“Me neither,” she admitted.
“What made you change your mind?”
“Like you said, it’sjust for a bit, and yesterday I spent allafternoon shut up in a hostel. But listen up: absolutely no laughing at me! It’s been a long time, okay…”
“I won’t laugh,” I promised.
She turned away and headed into the water. I followed her, with a warm feeling in my heart, knowing she was back here, in my stretch of sea, under an orange evening sky, even if just for a fleeting moment, because that was better than nothing. Anything was.
I was so scared I’d screw it up, say something that would push her away, that I kept my mouth shut the whole time she tried to cleave the waves, even if she kept falling off too early. When she was too tired, she lay on her board, resting her cheek on its surface. She was stunning.