Page 5 of All That We Are Together

“Are you sitting down?” I asked, excited.

“Yeah. Well, lying down. In bed. Does that work?”

“Dammit! Don’t tell me you’re with Bega?”

“Whatever. Spit it out.”

“I got picked… I’m going to be in an exhibit…” I drew a breath. “It’s just three pieces, but still…”

“Jesus, Leah.” I knew my brother was thrilled as those seconds of silence passed. I heard his steps as he got out of bed and caught his breath. “You can’t imagine how proud I am of you. Congratulations, pixie.”

“It’s all thanks to you…” I whispered.

He said it wasn’t, but we both knew I was telling the truth.

When everything fell apart three years ago, I was mad at him for weeks, and would hardly speak a word to him. That was early on, before I understood it wasn’t his fault. Oliver wasn’t the one who’d made that fateful decision. Oliver wasn’t the one who fucked it all up. Oliver didn’t choose that path for me.

But I wasn’t willing to see that back then. I didn’t want to admit that Axel lost it whenever things got too heavy for him; that whenever complications arose, he would turn away, ignoring all the things he couldn’t control; that he could never give himself fully to anyone or anything.

Maybe it was my fault for idealizing him.

Axel wasn’t ideal. As he had shown me, he had his ugly side, a side you wanted to scratch and rub away. And he had his gray areas. Virtues that could turn into vices in the right circumstances. Things that were bright and clear, but that shadowed over with the passage of time: his dreams, his courage that turned to cowardice.

I shook my head and turned right around a corner.

I rang the doorbell. Landon buzzed me in.

By the time I was upstairs, he was waiting for me, leaning on the doorframe. His hair was uncombed and his sleeves rolled up. He was handsome, I thought, and I smiled before leaping at him and hugging him tight.

“Why the enthusiasm?” he asked with a laugh.

“I’m going to have three pieces in an exhibit!” I shouted.

“Damn, babe, you can’t imagine how happy I am…”

I tucked my face against his neck, swallowed, and frowned atthe sound of that word I hated hearing and had told him over and over never to use.

Babe…I still couldn’t help hearing it in Axel’s voice. With lust. With love.

I squeezed Landon tighter so I would stop thinking about anything but the good news. I kissed him on the neck and then climbed upward till I reached his soft lips. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he closed the door. He carried me across his apartment and dropped me on the bed. I watched him standing there in front of me unbuttoning his shirt.

“Back in a sec,” he said and walked to the kitchen. I heard noises, and he returned with two beers in hand. “I thought I had a bottle of champagne, but no luck. So this’ll have to do.”

“It’s perfect.” I grabbed the opener and popped the caps.

“To you.” We clinked the beers audibly. “To your dreams.”

“And to us,” I added.

Landon looked at me gratefully before taking a sip and finally removing his shirt. He lay down beside me in bed and drew me toward him. He kissed me. He calmed me. He filled me inside. My legs got tangled with his, and I thought to myself that no one could be better.

6

Leah

I met Landon not long after I moved to Brisbane.

I’d agreed to go out for a while with Morgan and Lucy after having a terrible day, the kind I kept having those first few months, that confronted me with memories too difficult to bear. I got it together enough to wash my face—because my eyes were swollen from so much crying—put on a dress that had been hanging unused in the closet, and wound up in a bar with them having drinks.