Page 113 of All That We Are Together

I liked how her words made me feel, but I hated it in equal part. I was content, unsettled, proud, and nervous, all mixed together.

“I don’t know if there’s time…”

“What if you stayed a few more weeks? Hans certainly won’t have any problem letting you hold on to the apartment.”

Undecided, I bit my lip.

When I got back, Axel was cooking, and the whole place smelled so good that my stomach started growling right away. I walked into the kitchen and stood on my tiptoes to reach his lips. Soft music was coming from upstairs, from the record player, I assumed.

“How’d it go? Good?”

“Yeah. Look.” I grabbed my bag and pulled out the dress, which was of very thin champagne-colored fabric with an open back. “You like?”

“I’d rather see you naked.”

“Axel…”

“Okay, it’s nice, but I’d take a bikini now and again too.” I laughed as he looked more closely at the dress. “You’ll knock everyone off their feet.”

“Did you take your suit to the cleaners?”

“No. Was I supposed to?”

“Yeah but it doesn’t matter; you’ve still got a few days.”

I took a quick shower, and when I came out, dinner was already served on the coffee table. Axel opened a bottle of wine and sat on the carpet. I settled down next to him. It was perfect. When I was with him, I felt the way I had years ago, when we dwelt in our own bubble in his home. Just us, as if that was enough. Everyone else was the problem.

We didn’t talk much during dinner, but now and again, Axel forced me to try and guess the ingredients in each dish. I didn’t have a refined palate, so I never got it right, but I liked listening to him describe the recipes afterward.

When we were done, I took the plates to the kitchen. Then I sat back down beside him and started drinking compulsively from my glass. Axel raised an eyebrow.

“You better go ahead and tell me what you’ve got to say before you wind up drunk.”

“It’s complicated… I told Scarlett that I’d think it over. I don’t think it’s such a terrible idea for us to stick around here a few more weeks.”

“To do a job like she expects?”

I nodded, and Axel grunted and gulped down what was left of the wine in his glass. For a moment, I thought about how if he said he was leaving, I would leave too. The thought frightened me.It was like an arrow that had pierced me and that I wanted to tear out. I realized that I was still scared to do things on my own, that I would always need someone by my side.

“Then that’s that. We’re staying.”

He kissed me and I took a deep breath, relieved.

But I also felt something like bitterness. The way you feel when you realize you’re weaker than you thought, that there’s something inside you that keeps breaking down. I remembered the words Axel had uttered during our first date, weeks ago: “It’s like if you see yourself in a mirror, and in that light you look out of this world, and you just let yourself get carried away with that image even though it isn’t real.”

103

Axel

Oliver answered on the third ring.

“We need to talk,” I blurted out.

“Is Leah okay?” he replied, frantic.

“I don’t know. I guess so. I want to think so. Have you talked to her lately? Did she tell you she wants us to stay here a few more weeks?”

“No. She didn’t tell me anything.”