Page 21 of Echoes of Obsession
When no one objects, I take a deep breath. I honestly don’t mind sharing what happened. But no matter how many times I share it, it will never take away my guilt.
“While I was in active labor with Zoe, I had a life-threatening seizure. And when I say active labor, I mean that her head was already out. During the seizure, I was being held down by multiple people in order to protect Zoe from injury. Unfortunately, once the seizure was over, I was out for several minutes before regaining consciousness. Then it took another several minutes before my mind was clear enough to understand that I needed to push.”
I take a drink of my water to give myself a few seconds.
The guilt threatens to drown me. Zoe’s life will never be normal because of me.
“I had a high fever, and I was in pain,” I continue. “I was exhausted and excited. My body was going through so manychanges in a matter of minutes that it just quit. There may have been signs that I just missed because of the moment, but it just came out of nowhere and was the worst one I’ve had even to this date. Zoe wasn’t completely oxygen deprived, but during those minutes, she wasn’t getting as much as she was supposed to and was diagnosed with Hypoxia. Oxygen deprivation.
Between the hypoxia and the trauma of her birth, it caused her auditory system to fail. It didn’t happen instantly, but she was completely deaf by the time she turned one. And that’s it.”
“She’s a tough cookie, that’s for sure,” Maddy says.
“And she’s still smiling,” I respond.
“I bet she and Allie are going to be best friends,” Sophie adds.
“You know what? Why don’t we make the best of this weekend?”
Maddy’s face is as bright as the sun with her excitement.
“Let’s have a girl’s night here at the clubhouse,” she explains. “We can sleep here in the lounge and get to know one another.”
Knox clears his throat.
“What I meant to say,” Maddy laughs. “Was let’s have a girls and Knox night.”
“Better,” he smiles. “I vote yes.”
Knox, Maddy, and Sophie all look at me.
“What the heck,” I shrug. “As long as I can bring Sky.”
Knox and Maddy start making plans, and I glance at Ghost to see his reaction.
His face is blank as he continues eating his food, but he’s watching me with eyes filled with an emotion I don’t quite understand.
I look away in fear that he regrets letting me meet his family. I can’t process my own emotions when it comes to the man; there’s no way I’ll be able to understand his.
I mean, it’s not like it’s the same things that I’m feeling. Men like him don’t go for women like me.
Feeling uncomfortable, I pull down my shirt so that it covers my belly even more.
I spend the rest of the evening talking and laughing with my new friends. Ghost doesn’t say much but he does spend a lot of time watching me.
I didn’t hate it.
Chapter Six
Amara
Today makes the third day that Zoe’s been in the special needs class. She says that it’s not too bad, but she does get a bit bored. Maddy seems to think it’s because she’s not being challenged enough even though she’s still receiving the same work her old class is.
Which is exactly what I knew would happen. I’ve been looking around for another alternative, but the only option is a Christian private school, and I just can’t afford that. Heaven knows her father wouldn’t help.
There was a board meeting yesterday and Maddy told me that she was going to push the issue about hiring an interpreter. However, they explained that they would come back to the topic in a future meeting. I just can’t understand why they’re doing this.
“Ms. Clarke, it’s good to see you again.”