Page 57 of Onyx Cage: Volume II
All at once, I saw her shattered expression when I sent her home, the way she had flinched when I called her clingy. The pure, unbridled shock when I appeared in a ballroom where she clung to a man she hadn’t yet agreed to marry, despite all the reasons it should have made sense to do so.
She had only ever seemed angry about the games we had been playing since I arrived. Had I stopped once to consider what she might be hiding behind her vitriol or why she was entertaining this charade?
Storms knew she didn’t give a single damn about being agreeable, not to my council or to hers.
I froze at the sight of the tears pooling in her eyes, trying and failing to make sense of them, or more inexplicable still, my reaction to them.
In my relatively short lifetime, I had been forced to brand and unclan and eliminate more people than I cared to think about. Tears were nothing new to me.
But the sheen over Rowan’s pale-green eyes razed every defense I had to the ground.
“Lemmikki—” I began, ready to demand that she tell me something more than half-truths when her sister’s voice rang out in the kitchen instead.
“Oh, good, you’re back,” Avani called. “I need more cinnamon.”
I knew she was trying to give us time to move before Korhonan and the queen rounded the corner, but I couldn’t force my gaze away from the rare, raw emotion on my lemmikki’s features. Rowan, too, was frozen until she finally took another audible breath, then gently pressed her hand against my arm in a silent signal for me to move.
It was ground I didn’t want to relinquish, but neither was there a point in staying when we had an audience.
I moved to the side, ignoring the tension that had seeped into the atmosphere. Korhonan pursed his lips, and Avani turned back to her bowl. Rowan still hadn’t moved, though I had made space for her to go around me.
Queen Charlotte was the only one who didn’t seem to be content to let us stew in the increasingly uncomfortable silence.
“Well…” She chewed her lip. “Why does it seem like no matter how big a kitchen is, there’s never too much space to bump into one another?”
“It does seem that way,” Korhonan said, but it sounded more thoughtful than agreeable.
Rowan squeezed her eyes shut, returning to the task she had been given. She didn’t say another word for the rest of the day.
When she didn’t show up at dinner that night, I wondered, for the first time, if I had misplayed my hand in coming here.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Icouldn’t stop looking at the passageway door.
My muscles strained, beads of sweat sliding down my chest as I forced myself to do another set of push-ups. I wasn’t stupid. After the kitchens, I had a feeling she wouldn’t find her way to my room tonight—and yet, I couldn’t make myself relax enough to sleep.
I slowly lowered myself to the ground once again before quickly pushing back up—repeating the process again and again as each moment from earlier came back to haunt me. I couldn’t stop picturing the pain in her perfect features, the hitching of her breath. Couldn’t stop remembering every single moment that had led us to this one and wondering if I could have done things differently.
Another push-up. And another. The muscles in my abdomen burned, along with my biceps, but I refused to stop.
When my arms began to shake and the clock chimed the late hour—or early, I supposed—I finally took a break. Grabbing the towel near the washbasin, I wiped the sweat from my face and torso before downing a large glass of water.
All the while I stared at the passageway door, wondering if I followed the delicate footsteps back to her room if she wouldallow me entry. Wondering what I would say if she did, or if she would even be there.
It was the last thought that gave me pause, and I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer. Instead, I drained another glass of water before cleaning up and finally climbing into bed for good.
The next morning, Rowan didn’t seem too far off from her usual half-alive state at breakfast, though she was ignoring both me and even Korhonan more than usual.
I had spent the early hours of the day training with my men until Gwyn offered me another spar, something in the quirk of her eyebrow telling me she knew exactly how badly I needed the challenge. The exertion. The escape.
Where the last match had been full of joking and distractions, this one had been a relentless wave after wave of parries and blows until Prince Finn had finally declared a draw.
I hadn’t asked what demons Gwyn was trying to vanquish, because I sure as hell hadn’t wanted her to ask in turn, but it had been clear I wasn’t the only one. Even now, she was antsy in her seat, darting glances at the door like sitting here was the last thing she wanted to be doing.
Once breakfast was served, Gallagher cleared his throat, speaking up for a rare change. “Gwyn and I were thinking it might be fun to get out of the castle soon.”
His concerned gaze flitted from his sister to Rowan, landing at last on Avani, who was also noticeably quieter than usual.