Page 122 of Onyx Cage: Volume II
A miscalculation that had nearly lost me my lemmikki before I even had her.
One more button, then I had enough purchase to pull apart the two sides of the fabric.
“But as for what I want.” I leaned in, unable to resist the urge to taste the exposed skin, to try to infuse her body and soul with the conviction I struggled to put into words.
Then I took a breath, forcing myself to throw every weapon in my arsenal at her feet in a surrender that defied everything I had been raised to be.
“Yes,” I breathed. “I want to share my life with you.”
Need to, like I need the air I breathe.
“And yes, one day, I would like to grow our family.”
I don’t know anything about being a parent, Lemmikki, but I would learn for you. With you.
I moved faster with her buttons now, chasing the motion with my lips. Memories flitted through my head, all the things I had hardly allowed myself to think about, the days when I had lost myself a little more each day to her.
“What I want is to hear your voice every day, talking to my cat, teaching my soldiers inappropriate card games and tavern songs.”All the ridiculous pieces of you.“I want your cursed hair in my face and your clothes strewn messily on my bedroom floor.”
All the things that prove that you’re truly where I am, not just a ghost who taunts me with an empty mug of tea for the endless days after you’ve left.
Her breath caught on a sob. “You don’t want that.”
I considered the long-term reality of untidiness and conceded her point with a small smile.
“Maybe not that last one. But I would put up with it for you,” I added sincerely.
Another button came undone under the careful work of my hands, revealing her darkest scar yet. I leaned down, tracing the ropy scar with my tongue.
“I want to spend every night exploring each inch of your perfect body, and every morning waking up with you wrapped around me.” I murmured the words against her skin, relishing the gasp that escaped her.
But I wasn’t finished.
“Most of all, I want the chaos and laughter and life that you bring with you everywhere you go, and I want it always. I want you, always. As my wife, in every possible sense of the word.”
That was as clear as I could be. Now all I could hope was that it was enough.
At long last, I came to the final button. My heart beat faster in my chest as I stepped to the other side of her.
Tears streamed down her cheeks, but her lips were tilted up in relief. I brought my hands up to her face, brushing the tears away with the kind of tenderness I hadn’t believed I was capable of before she had sauntered into my life.
“And, Lemmikki?” I met her eyes while I offered up the final piece of myself, words I never believed I would say, let alone feel. The distinct, inevitable, unacknowledged truth responsible for rewriting the laws that governed every last piece of my being. “I love you with every last broken piece of my soul, too.”
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Another silence fell in the wake of my words, but this one thrummed with anticipation. Rowan’s hands clenched into fists as she inhaled a shaky breath.
“I want all of those things, too.” Her voice was breathless, but there was no hint of a lie. She glanced down at the vial again. “And I do want to grow our family one day...but I don’t think I’m ready to share you yet.”
Her eyes met mine, a rare bit of uncertainty churning in their depths. Thinking of all the ways I wanted to make good on the things I had just promised her, a low, relieved chuckle escaped me.
“I would prefer not to share you, either, just yet.” Not for a while.Not until I know your body better than I know my own, Lemmikki.
Her shoulders eased, and she popped the cork out of the small vial, downing the contents in a single swig. Her lips twisted at the taste, and I turned to pour her a small glass of wine.
For the aftertaste of the herbs, and for the nerves that still had her nails pressing half-moon indentations into the flesh of her palm. She eagerly took the glass, taking several sips while she stole sideways glances at me.
Minute by minute, her grip on the glass eased. Then she set it on the low table with half the contents still intact, standing a bit straighter in the gown that was half undone.