Page 113 of Hollow Court

Would she pick from among the lairds whose only redeeming qualities were that they allowed her to fidget and allowed her to study medicine? The thought twisted in my gut, but not as much as the one that followed on its heels.

Didshe want to go back, even in spite of everything?

She clenched her jaw, determination replacing whatever dark emotion had taken hold of her.

“I won’t ever want to go back,” she said definitively, her steely blue eyes meeting mine.

I held her unwavering gaze for a solid minute before responding.

“Then that’s settled.” I said the words casually, like I believed them.

I wished I could.

But after Rowan’s letter and the letter from Chridhe and Galina’s wolf charm and our stupid last stars-damned night on the roof, nothing felt even remotely close to being settled.

THIRTY-SEVEN

Galina

Tick,tick, tick.

I had grown to love nearly everything about this room. The vast space that had been overwhelming at first was now open and peaceful. But I still hated the tall, gilded clock that sat innocuously in the corner.

Every night, it marked the endless hours of tossing and turning in between nightmares. Since I had stopped going to the rooftop, even the few hours of sleep I had been eking out before were steadily slipping from my grasp.

The bags under my eyes were getting harder to hide by the day, and tonight was worse than usual.

Mikhail was coming here.

My uncle was leaving his kingdom for the second time in his entire life with the single, solitary purpose of bringing me back to Socair. To Alexei.

Every time I closed my eyes, that’s what I saw.

Alexei looming over me, his breath on my face, his triumph at finally owning me in every possible way. Mikhail raising his glass in a toast while Alexei enforced his right to a public consummation…

My eyelids flew open.

An empty cup of chamomile and valerian tea sat at my nightstand, as useless now as when it was full. Even the steady drizzle of rain on my windowpanes wasn’t enough to calm the thunderous beat of my heart.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I threw a velvet dressing gown over my nightclothes and slid my feet into a pair of slippers. I wasn’t even sure what I was doing until I found myself out on the balcony.

Of course, there were no stars tonight. Still, I inhaled the earthy smell of the damp stone, letting the cold, stinging pellets of rain wash over my skin.

It wasn’t enough.

So up I climbed to the rooftop.

Of course I did. Hadn’t this been my destination all along? It was empty, which wasn’t really a surprise, considering we hadn’t been up here since that night.

I shouldn’t be here now, either. Shouldn’t be wishing he was here, too.

I should go back down to my rooms, dry off, and force myself to get some sleep.

That was the only rational thing to do.

But I knew what awaited me in my rooms. Thoughts of Alexei and Uncle Mikhail and white-hot brands searing into my flesh. More importantly, I knew what didn’t await me there. Or rather, who.