Page 78 of Crimson Kingdom

“It isn’t like you came to talk to me, either,” I reminded him.

“No.” He made a bitter noise in the back of his throat. “Ye didn’t seem to have any need of me now. And why would ye? I’m only the one who raised ye for eighteen years.”

He still didn’t lift his eyes to me.

“Da’,” I protested. “You told me to make the decision, and I did. All my life, you have said that the people come first, and now when I do something for Lochlann, you’re upset with me?”

He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head slightly.

“Ye know,” he said quietly, “when your older sister was born, I knew she would always belong to the kingdom, first.” He looked up, finally meeting my eyes. “But...you were all mine, mo bhobain.”

I was stunned into silence.

I stepped forward, close enough to see that what I thought was paperwork was actually a portrait of a much younger me. My curls were in disarray, and a mischievous smile graced my lips.

“I always knew ye would leave one day.” A whoosh of air escaped him. “But I didn’t expect it to be so soon, and I didn’t expect it to be so far.”

My chest broke apart with his words.

“Da’.” My voice was softer this time.

His mouth pulled into a grim line. “I can’t protect ye over there, mo bhobain.”

“But you taught me to protect myself,” I reminded him.

“Aye.” He nodded. “And I’m proud of ye, mo nighean. But ye cannot blame me for trying to keep ye.”

Tears pooled in my eyes, and I crossed the room, throwing myself into his arms. “No, Da’. I could never blame you for that.”

Whatever happened with Evander and me, I knew that my life would be forever altered after this.

So for now, I soaked up this moment, a space in time where I could be just my father’s daughter, hisbhobain.

His darling rascal child.

CHAPTERFORTY-ONE

The day of the memorial dawned sunny and far too bright.

Grief hung in the air, suffocating us with its weight. But the weather didn’t seem to care. It practically taunted us with its blue skies, pristine fluffy clouds, and gentle winds.

At least the animals were quiet. Avani’s heartache was tangible, and they seemed to respect that. Not a single happy chirp from a bird could be heard anywhere near the castle.

Taisiya was silent, too, as she helped me into the emerald-colored dress that I had picked out the night before. It had been Mac’s favorite color, so we would all be wearing it today.

It felt like a bad sign that tears were pricking at my eyes before I even had my tiara on. But then, I had always known this day would be impossible.

I headed into the private dining room for breakfast. It was a somber mood before I even opened the door. Most of the family was there already, eating in uncharacteristic silence in their various emerald-colored clothes.

Evander was among them. I realized it was the first time, aside from the kilt at the festival, that I had ever seen him wear anything besides black or one of his cream-colored shirts.

Somewhere through my haze of renewed grief, I couldn’t help but notice the way the green tunic complimented his tawny skin to perfection, bringing out the silver in his eyes and offsetting his midnight hair.

I looked away, my gaze landing instead on Avani’s empty chair.

My mother rose from her seat, but my father put a hand on her arm. “I’ll go,mo leannan.”

She took a shaky breath and nodded.