Page 96 of Tarnished Crown

But something vicious and ugly formed inside me, expanding until it felt like it was trying to claw its way out through my chest.Pure and simple and deeper than anything I had ever felt before.

“I hate her.” The words flew from my lips unbidden, but they were no less true for it.

Was this profound animosity welcome? Comforting? Or just another way to lose myself?

“So do I,” he muttered darkly.

“Then why not...” I trailed off, not sure how to ask what I wanted to know.

“Dispose of her?” he supplied.

I nodded. He hesitated, like he was weighing how truthful to be. Finally, he blew out a breath through his teeth.

“I tried, once. But I trusted the wrong person. They told someone who then informed Mairi. And she made sure I wasn’t able to attempt anything like that for a long time.”

My lips parted in horror as I remembered Theo’s accounting of what had happened between him and Evander.Theo had said he couldn’t keep a secret from Iiro. Had he understood what was at stake?

Or had he just been a boy, showing that damnably persistent loyalty to a brother I was increasingly sure didn’t deserve it.

Another thought, even worse, edged in. If Ava had done this to Evander, what had my Aunt Isla endured at her hands?

The ugly thing inside of me reared its head as an animosity more intense than anything I had ever felt seeped into my bones, every shred of it directed at the horrible woman.

“And now?” I asked.

“And now.” He sighed. “She can’t do much to a fully grown heir, so it’s easier to play her games. I can’t fight a war on two fronts. Ultimately, it’s more important to prevent my father from ordering...the things he orders sometimes.”

Some part of me broke apart with the offhand way he outlined this reality of his life. Every time he had thrown in my face that I didn’t understand difficult decisions, I had taken it as an insult.

But this, he was right. I had no real comprehension of it. All I knew is that it wasn’t a position I would wish on anyone.

I cast about for solutions. “If my father knew...”

He shook his head. “There is no clan in Socair that would tolerate an outsider harming a Clan Wife, no matter the circumstances. It wouldn’t have mattered, even if I had known who she was. War would be an inevitability if that happened.”

“Well, there go my plans to eviscerate her with my booby dagger.” I apparently spoke the thought aloud because Evander’s answering chuckle sounded through the darkness.

In the light of everything we were up against, my concerns about sharing a room felt immensely petty, so I dropped them, telling myself I would suffer through a few more months in Evander’s bed.

It was better than admitting that I would be suffering when I left it, too.

CHAPTER62

The next day of travelling was no less tense. If anything, the things we shared the night before made things more confusing.

Because we were trying so hard not to have any contact, sharing a saddle became twice as taxing on my back as having my own would have been, but I didn’t know how to broach that subject without creating even more awkwardness.

I spent the ride practically laying on the horse’s neck to avoid accidentally bumping against Evander.

When we finally stopped for the evening, we were surprised to find a line of villagers waiting for us. In the dusk it was difficult to determine their ages, or to see their features clearly.

Evander’s arms closed protectively around me as the men came to a full stop on the road, though he managed to refrain from actually touching me.

The eleven men with us all looked around at one another, confused and on high alert. Had the Unclanned been here? Were we welcome to stay? Was this a trap?

Before any of us could ask, a large ball of snow came sailing toward us, hitting Kirill square in the chest.

The attacking boy in a blue knit hat stood frozen and waiting, with a look of pure terror on his face.