Page 52 of Tarnished Crown
He took a breath and ran a hand over the blond stubble growing on his chin.
“Yes. I knew. I just wasn’t sure it was what either of us wanted at first, and then later, I didn’t want you to feel forced into it.” The sincerity in his tone was unmistakable.
Whatever Iiro had done, I was more sure than ever that Theo had been as much a victim of his brother’s manipulations as I was.
“Which happened anyway,” Theo tacked on. “Is that what this is about? Are you trying to tell me you no longer...desire to marry me?”
My conversation with Davin resounded in my head, but I wasn’t ready to go there just yet.
“Have you thought about whether you still want to marry me?” I held my breath, half wishing I never had to hear his answer, but I needed to know.
We both did.
“I heard what Arès said about your obligations to your clan,” I added. “At the very least, we would have to wait until the pass opened and got word to my father.”
His expression softened, and he brought up a hand to cup my cheek. “Rowan, I told you once you were the girl I chose for me. Did you honestly think a few months would change that?”
“It might not just be a few months, though,” I said quietly. “If we can’t come to an agreement tomorrow, if Evander won’t release me, it could mean years of negotiations or...war. Can you wait that long to marry someone? To...continue your line?”
Though I had teased him about blushing earlier, it was my cheeks that were flooded with heat at that last question.
Worse than the embarrassment was the uncertainty that crossed his features.
“I told you, I’m not going to stop fighting for you, Rowan,” he said tenderly. “Forus.I don’t want anyone else, for marriage or...continuing my line.”
There it was. The adorable, sexy reddening of his cheeks that made me want to drop this entire line of conversation and pretend I had never brought it up. But I owed it to both of us not to.
“And what about what Iiro wants?” I forced myself to ask.
“Iiro...wants me to be happy.” He sounded less sure than I would have wanted, and my heart sank.
“Iiro wants you to be successful,” I countered, my voice thick with emotion. “And somehow, I doubt that involves putting your entire life on hold for a captive princess you may never even get to marry.”
“What are you saying, Rowan?” Theo’s expression faltered.
“I’m saying that neither of our lives belongs to us, not really. That we may not be in a position to make or keep promises. I’m saying that if things don’t go our way tomorrow...” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
He leaned forward, putting a hand under my chin. “Then we’ll just have to make sure that thingsdogo our way tomorrow.”
It was amazing how that single point of contact could fill me with so much relief. I hardly realized how much I had grown to rely on Theo’s constant presence to chase away the chaos in the world around me until it wasn’t there anymore, but I had missed it, craved it, even.
I stared into his hazel eyes, and saw my own longing reflected there. All at once, I was tired of talking. What more was there to say, anyway, that wouldn’t sound like a preemptive goodbye?
Without another thought, I pressed my mouth into the hollow of his throat. His small noise of encouragement was all I needed to skate my lips around to the side of his muscular neck.
He whispered my name before flipping us in one fluid motion. A thrill ran through me, and my breaths quickened as he supported himself on one solid arm tucked under my head, staring down at me with an intensity that made my head spin.
Lowering himself, he pressed his lips to mine. Slowly at first, and then with a need that matched my own as his hand caressed my hip. A gradual heat spread over me with each singular point of contact.
Stars, I missed this.
Theo tasted like the first sip of warm tea after a day in the snow, like hope and warmth and a refuge from everything the last few months had wrought. I wrapped one arm around his back while running the other through his hair, pulling him closer to me.
His free hand roamed my body, sending awareness coursing through every one of my limbs. I returned his kiss with urgency, conscious of every single minute we didn’t have together, that we may never have. His lips glided from mine to the sensitive spot below my ear.
“I love you, Rowan.” The words came out in a single urgent breath.
I opened my mouth to respond, but it was a different, far colder voice that spoke instead.