Page 84 of The Perfect Secret

It was Dan.

Chapter Twenty-Six

He should have left the moment he heard Hannah’s name.

He’d imagined her everywhere. When he’d walked in and thought he saw her sitting in the audience, he’d attributed it to an overactive imagination, grabbed a cup of coffee, and sat in the back row.

Now, face-to-face with her, he wondered how he could ever have imagined he saw her anywhere. Her hair was more luxurious, her eyes brighter, her skin more luminescent than anyone he’d mistaken for her. And she was as surprised as he was.

Her eyes didn’t glow with happiness at seeing him. They didn’t sparkle with excitement. They were wide with shock.

He suspected they mirrored his own.

When Jeff celebrated his year of being clean, Dan didn’t think anything of it. He still didn’t know people’s last names. But when he’d thanked his sister, Hannah, Dan had inhaled with such sharpness he’d choked. Still, he’d convinced himself it was a coincidence. When he’d turned away from the coffeepot and almost banged into her, he lost his equilibrium. Thank goodness for his cane, because without it, he’d be flat on the floor.

Only now, seeing her in this room, did he fully make the connection.

She was here. In this room. With him.

He wanted to grab her in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to apologize for being an ass. All he could do was stare, because she was here. So was he.

His joy at seeing her slowly evaporated.

She was here for her brother. He was here for himself. If she hadn’t already figured it out, she would in a moment. Any dream of a future with her he might have clung to would disappear. She already had a drug addict for a brother. Why would she want a second one in her life?

He swallowed the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. She didn’t move. She shut her eyes. She knew.

Unable to stand it a moment longer, he swung around and left the room.

For a moment, the room spun and Hannah shut her eyes. When she opened them, Dan was gone. She turned, caught a fleeting glimpse of grey hair out in the hallway, heard the faint tap of his cane on the linoleum floor. Why was he here?

“Hannah, are you okay? Sit down,Hannahla, you look pale.”Bubbehelped her to a seat, and she followed without seeing anything. Dan was here.

“What’s wrong?” Her grandmother took her icy hand and rubbed it.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Swallowing, she tried again. “I think I saw Dan.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He’d stared at her like he’d seen a ghost. Once again, he hadn’t said anything to her.

Her grandmother left, returning a moment later with a cup of water and Jeff. “Drink this.” Without waiting for Hannah to say anything, her grandmother described Dan and asked if Jeff knew him.

“Not personally, but I’ve seen him at meetings. He’s pretty new.”

Dan came to NA meetings?

“Why does he come?” Hannah asked.

Jeff looked at her. “I can’t tell you what goes on here, Hannah. I’m sorry. The only reason you’re allowed here tonight is it’s a public meeting. Most are private.”

“The only people who come here are drug addicts, right?” She bit her lip. She couldn’t think clearly enough to be tactful.

He sat next to her and took her hand. “Yes. Do you know him?”

Her eyes filled with tears and she looked at her grandmother.

“He was her boyfriend.”