Page 82 of The Perfect Secret
But she was lonely. There was a Dan-shaped hole in her heart, with an accompanying Tess-shaped one too. And no matter how she tried to plug it, nothing fit right. Aviva’s engagement emphasized her own loneliness.
Voices from her apartment greeted her when she opened the door and she craned her neck to see who was there.
“Hannahla, is that you?”
Chicken, spices, and onions wafted from the kitchen.
“Yes,Bubbe.” She walked into the kitchen, where her grandmother and Jeff stood together. Her grandmother stirred a pot on the stove. The smell of the chicken soup made her mouth water.
Jeff stiffened, a guarded expression on his face. “Hi, Hannah. I was just—”
“No, it’s okay.” She gave her grandmother a hug and smiled at Jeff. “What’s up?”
“Just saying hi, and—” He stopped, his gaze switching from Hannah to his grandmother.
“Go on, ask her.”
Hannah’s gaze shifted between the two of them. “Ask me what?”
“My one-year anniversary is this week. We’re allowed to bring guests to our meeting, and well, I wondered if you’d come. You don’t have to. I’ll understand if you’re busy or if you’d rather not go.”
The hope on her grandmother’s face mirrored Jeff’s, and Hannah’s heart melted. No matter what she’d lost, she’d gained her brother. He’d disappointed her so many times, but she could see he was trying. “Of course I want to go!”
This time, her grandmother’s teary expression mirrored hers. Hannah blinked before she stepped toward Jeff. His arms wrapped around her and the tears fell. She sobbed into his shoulder and he patted her back, rocking a little from side to side. When she quieted, she stepped away and looked at him. His eyes could not be described as dry either.
“I hope all those tears weren’t my fault,” he said.
She shook her head. “No, they’re just…life. I’m honored you’d want me there and I’m proud of you. Really.”
Taking a shaky breath, he handed her a card. “Here’s where the meeting is. Thank you. Thanks both of you.”
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,”Bubbesaid.
For the first time in a long time, Hannah agreed with her grandmother.
That night, Hannah and her grandmother went to their monthly book club meeting at Karen Black’s apartment. Hergrandmother and Karen were best friends and had invited Hannah and some younger women to join them. After discussing the book for a half an hour, Karen begankvellingabout Jacob’s engagement to Aviva.
“My son is marrying the nicest girl,” she said. With a glance at Hannah, she amended her statement. “Well, one of!”
“It’s okay, Karen, I love Aviva, too.”
For the next ten minutes, Hannah listened to descriptions of the ring, how he proposed and what their plans were. Karen, who used to speak sharply about her son not having time for a relationship, now changed her tune and was convinced he’d be an intrinsic part of all the planning. When Hannah reached her limit, she excused herself and walked into the kitchen, on the pretense of getting something to drink.
Leaning against the counter, she let out a sigh.
“Don’t worry,Hannahla, it will happen to you,” Sylvia said as she followed her in.
“I know,Bubbe. And I’m thrilled for both of them. They’re perfect for each other and are so happy. I’m just sad right now.”
Sylvia hugged her. “You still haven’t heard from Dan?”
“I won’t. We’re done.”
“I don’t understand. He seemed like such a nice man. And the way he looked at you? It was just like the way Harry used to look at me.”
“At this point, I don’t think I care anymore about the ‘why.’ I’d like to get past him so I can move on with my life.”
“It takes time, sweetheart.”