Page 78 of The Perfect Secret
He sighed. “When are you going to talk to me again?”
“When are you going to get help?”
“I don’t need help, Tess. I’m fine.”
“I don’t need to talk to you. I like the silence.” She stuck a forkful of rice into her mouth and rose to clear her plate.
“You won’t win this, Tess.”
Standing facing the wall, she replied, “I lost this a long time ago. I lost it the day you chose drugs over me. Even though you cleaned yourself up, you got rid of anything you cared about. But you kept me.”
The Pad Thai threatened to come right back up as she turned, shoulders slumped. “No matter what Hannah says, I’ll never win.”
If she stomped out of the kitchen, maybe he’d feel better. But she slipped out, barely making a sound, as if there was no point anymore. It scared the hell out of him. Her door clicked shut; he hobbled after her and opened the door. She lay face down on the bed, shoulders shaking. He sat next to her and patted her back. “I love you, Tess. How can you doubt me?”
“Because you get rid of everything you care about. You threw away your puzzle. You no longer eat chocolate. You stopped talking to your friends.”
“I could never get rid of you. Ever.”
“It’s obvious you don’t care about me as much as you do anything else.”
“Tess, you don’t understand.”
“You’re right, I don’t. And since you won’t get actual help, I never will understand.”
“I’m not addicted anymore.”
“Then why don’t you trust yourself?”
It was a great question. One for which he didn’t have an answer.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hannah’s phone rang the next morning on the way to work; her eyes widened at the caller. “H…hello?” Her stomach dropped. Maybe seeing her yesterday made Dan miss her. Maybe he’d explain what Tess meant about his being an addict.
“What did you tell Tess?” Dan’s voice was frantic.
Her heart rate quickened as the voice she’d missed gave no indication of his care for her. “Excuse me?” No hello, no how are you. An immediate accusation. The man she’d loved was gone.
“Tess told me you said something to her. What was it?”
Hannah leaned against the building as commuters rushed past her. “I said a lot of somethings to her. You’ll have to be more specific.”
He remained silent for a minute. Hannah wondered if she should hang up. They weren’t together anymore. He didn’t miss her. If Tess was right, he was an addict. She didn’t have to deal with him or his issues. The only reason she talked to him now was because of Tess.
“Tess accused me of getting rid of everything I love, except her. She said you told her something, but you’re wrong. What did you tell her?”
She blinked the tears out of her eyes. “I told her no matter what she might think, you loved her more than anything, and everything you do, no matter how much it might not make sense, is for her.”
Again, there was silence.
“Dan? Are you there? Because I need to get to work…”
“Thank you.” His voice was hoarse. Despite everything, his obvious pain hurt her. She shook her head. Making him feel better was no longer her concern. He’d never wanted it when they were together, he wouldn’t want it now. He’d been more than clear on that one. Getting involved would only make her suffer.
“I have to go, Dan.” She hung up and took a deep breath. She had a presentation today and she needed to focus.
After the presentation, Stan stopped her on her way out of the conference room. “Hannah, got a minute?”