Page 58 of The Perfect Secret
“What about?”
“You. You’re not acting like yourself.”
He stiffened, but she wouldn’t back down. Not this time. Instead, she waited. He pulled at his collar. “What do you mean?”
“You’re more attached to me than usual.” At his shocked expression, she hurried to continue. “Not that I mind. I love being close to you, and if that’s all it is, you wanting to be close to me, fine. But it seems like it’s more than that.”
He swallowed, opened his mouth, and closed it. After a moment, he spoke. “I’m sorry. I like being with you, that’s all. I don’t mean to smother you.”
She raised an eyebrow. His face darkened, but he didn’t add anything further. Squeezing his hand, she rose. “You’d tell me if it was something, right?”
He pulled her against his chest, his heart beating against her ear. It was strong and steady, like him.
“Yes.”
She believed him.
Hannah hugged herself as she let herself into her apartment. It was the only way she could contain the feelings bubbling inside her, threatening escape.
“Hannahla? Is that you?”
“Yes,Bubbe, it’s me.” She walked into the living room and frowned. “What are you still doing up?”
“I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to wait for you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry I kept you up.”
Her grandma laughed. “Not to worry. I read our next book club book. It’s good. Did you have fun tonight?”
She sank onto the sofa next to her grandmother. “OhBubbe, I did. He makes me so happy, I can barely contain myself. Although he was a little weird tonight, I know I make him feel good.” At her grandmother’s raised eyebrows, Hannah tipped her head away. “I don’t mean that,Bubbe, although that’s good too.” Now it wasBubbe’sturn to blush and look away. “I mean…when I got there, he didn’t see me. I snuck behind him and put my arms around him. He could have reacted any number of ways, but instead, he leaned into me and stayed there, like he didn’t want to break contact. Or like I was helping him in some way. It’s hard to explain…”
“Like you’ve become a part of him?”
Hannah’s eyes widened. “Exactly! And he’s become a part of me.” She leaned toward her grandmother. “I think I love him.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach, trying to contain the feeling inside her.
Her grandma’s face broadened into a grin. She clasped her hands together, looking as excited as Hannah felt. “OhHannahla, I’m happy for you. I’ll admit, I was reluctant at first because he’s older than you, and he has a daughter.”
“I know,Bubbe, I was too. But Tess has accepted me, and Dan isn’t old.”
“If you love him, he must be wonderful.”
“He is. He still doesn’t talk to me as much as I’d like him to, but he’s made progress.”
“Sometimes men take time. Tess is a doll. Only a good man could raise someone like her. When will you invite them to Shabbat dinner?”
“Soon,Bubbe, soon.”
A family dinner with her grandmother, Dan, and Tess. In the past, she would have been nervous. But this felt right. And she’d tell him she loved him.
Dan looked out the window. The full moon’s light shined into the darkened spare room, pooled onto the puzzle table, and spilled onto the wood floor. He hadn’t been able to sleep since he came home from the movies with Hannah.
Like he did when his leg bothered him, he tried to distract himself with putting together the puzzle. But the bright-colored sea creatures reminded him of her laughter. The moonlight reminded him of her creamy skin. The stillness around him reminded him of her breath on his neck when she leaned around to kiss him.
He couldn’t get her out of his mind.
He rubbed his knee. What would it be like for Hannah to massage him? He closed his eyes, imagining her soft hands onhis skin, their cool touch against his heat. He hardened. Opening his eyes in frustration, he stood and walked around.
A vision of Hannah’s blue eyes, wide with sympathy, sparkling with humor, darkening in passion, flitted through his mind. He shook his head, trying to clear it.