Page 43 of A Heart of Little Faith
His wheels made tread marks in the carpet as he rolled back and forth in agitation. But a wedding? He’d avoided them since his accident. Except Tony would never forgive him. He’d call him a coward, and he’d be right. He slammed his hand against his chair as he considered his options—go alone or ask Lily. He raked his fingers through his hair and made it stand up like spines on a sea urchin. Who was he kidding? He didn’t want to go to the wedding alone; he wanted to go with Lily. But should he ask her?
She’d say yes because of their bargain, but his heart still pounded. He didn’t want this to be part of the bargain. But would Lily be interested in a date? Because no matter how he tried to convince himself otherwise, a wedding was a date, one of the most romantic “dates” a person could have. And he couldn’t do much more than sit and talk with her. Would she be disappointed? But those kisses they’d shared…his pulse increased and his lips burned like she’d branded him. He hadn’t been able to get them out of his mind. He sighed.
What did he want from her and why did he keep beating himself up over this? He wheeled himself into the kitchen and thrust leftover pizza into the microwave. He jabbed the keypad before he continued his circuit around his apartment.If I had any guts, I’d ask her out on a real date. But no. Instead, I hide behind our arrangement and make her think she is fulfilling her part of the bargain. No longer hungry, and too wound up for anything else, he turned on the TV and flicked through the channels. As he wavered between a baseball game and a crime drama, his phone rang.
“Hello,” he grunted, his attention focused on the TV.
“Hi, Gideon, it’s Lily.” The lilt in her voice automatically cheered him.
“Hi.” He muted the TV and rubbed the nape of his neck as he fought to hide his surprise. He swallowed. He wouldn’t be able to postpone things much longer.
“What are you doing?”
“Watching TV.”
“Anything good?”
“Not really. I’m deciding between baseball or a crime show.”
“Oh, I’m watchingGrey’s Anatomy. I used to love McDreamy.”
He snorted. “Loved him, huh? I’m kind of tempted by the game.”
“Who’s playing?”
“Yankees and the Mets.”
“What color are their uniforms?”
“You’ve got to be kidding!” He frowned at the phone and shook his head.
“Yup.” She giggled. “Gotcha!”
Gideon grunted and cradled the phone in his shoulder, his tension muted like the game on TV. A small smile played at the corner of his mouth and for the first time since he opened the envelope, he took a deep breath. No matter what was on his mind, she always cheered him up. She could find the humor in everything. It was one of the reasons he liked her so much. He took another deep breath and plunged in. “I wanted to ask you something. I’ve been invited to a wedding. Do you want to go?”
There was a slight hesitation and he shut his eyes. “Who’s getting married?”
“Tony’s sister.”
“I didn’t even know he had a sister. Of course I’ll go with you. Tony’s done so much for me and I love weddings! When is it?” She sounded excited. Was it for the event or for him?
He read the pertinent information and heard the scratch of a pen as Lily jotted it on her calendar. Tony hadn’t told her much about himself if Lily didn’t know about the wedding. His chest expanded.
“Are you sure Tony won’t mind if I come?”
“The invitation is addressed to me and a guest, and he’ll be thrilled to know it’s you.” He struggled to keep the sarcasm from his voice.
“Great. Oh I’m excited about this. Weddings are fun—the music, the food, the atmosphere.”
Gideon winced and tried to remain calm as he listened to the excitement build in her voice. He should have followed his first instinct, refused the invitation and been done with it. There was no way he wouldn’t disappoint her. His stomach clenched and his throat tightened as he figured out how to get out of it. He cleared his throat. “Are you sure about this? I mean, it might not be much fun—a long-winded ceremony, lots of archaic traditions. Maybe it would be better if…”
When he paused, she added, “…we spend another stimulating night at home watching TV and talking on the phone?” She laughed. “Come on, good food, music, lots of people, it’ll be fun. And if it isn’t, we can leave. I’d love to go with you. Besides, it’s important to Tony, and he’s your good friend.”
Gideon sighed and stared at the ceiling. The walls were closing in on him, and he resisted the sudden urge to hold his hands out and prevent them from crushing him. He couldn’t get out of it. Even if he’d wanted to, she’d guilted him into it. “Okay, thank you.” After they hung up, he stared again at the invitation and shook his head.
****
Lily and Claire strode hand-in-hand into the gymnasium and then sat on the bleachers. Young male chatter echoed off the walls of the empty gymnasium and combined with the clack of Lily’s heels and the rubbery squeak of Claire’s sneakers. Fourteen boys on the basketball court, approximately eleven years old, surrounded Gideon. As the boys backed away, he took the ball, dribbled it halfway across the court, and passed it to one of the boys. The smack, smack, pat of the bouncing ball reverberated through the gym, and Claire’s wide eyes followed the ball in time to its beat.