Page 37 of A Heart of Little Faith
“So I heard you have a free weekend. Any plans?” Tony asked.
Her face heated. “I’m going to the baseball game with Gideon on Saturday. Samantha and I were supposed to go out Friday night, but she has to work, so I don’t know.”
“Listen, there’s a new action movie coming out Friday. Do you want to go see it?” He sounded excited and it made her smile.
“Ooh, blood, guts and shooting—sounds like just what I need to relax,” she teased.
Chapter 13
Tony arrived fifteen minutes late and out of breath Friday night. Wearing a denim shirt and khaki pants, he was handsome, despite the panting. “Sorry I’m late, but we had a minor crisis at the center and I couldn’t leave until it was resolved.”
She bit her lip. Someone would have told her if it involved Gideon, right? “Don’t worry about it.” Lily locked her apartment and followed him, and his trail of aftershave, out. “What happened?”
“One of the fathers broke his restraining order and attempted to see his son.”
“Oh no, was anyone hurt?”
Tony opened the door of the waiting cab for her and then jogged around the other side and got in next to her. The leather seat bounced from his weight as he sat down. Stale cigarette odors from the cab combined with Tony’s aftershave and made Lily’s eyes water. She rolled her window down a crack to let in some air.
“Not physically, no.” He leaned forward to give the cabbie directions. “But I feel bad for the kid. You could just see how torn he felt, between wanting his father and being afraid to go near him. Plus, trying to calm his mother down, who was hysterical, and of course the natural embarrassment teenage boys feel around their parents to begin with…it was a mess.” He sighed, took out a handkerchief and wiped his forehead.
“That poor boy,” Lily exclaimed.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to bring you down,” Tony said at once. “You need to have some fun, especially while Claire is away. Come on, let’s forget about everything.” He patted her on the knee.
Lily sat still and examined his hand. It was different from Gideon’s—darker, hairier and smaller. It felt different too. When Gideon touched her, currents of electricity ran through her body. He was her Atlas, holding up her world. Tony didn’t make her feel safe. As much as she liked him, she couldn’t picture herself crying in front of him or imagine depending on him. Tony’s felt like, well, a hand.
“You really like him, don’t you?” He was looking at her, a satisfied smile on his face.
Her face heated. “Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t sure before now.”
Lily sighed and stared out the window, frowning lips reflected in the glass. “I care about him a lot, but it’s complicated.” She was growing to care for the man more than she would ever have thought possible, but she was still scared. Claire loved him. What would happen if it didn’t work out?
“He’s worth it.” His voice was quiet, sure.
“I know.”
“Does he know you know that?”
“We haven’t discussed it. I don’t know how he feels about me. We haven’t done anything together that didn’t involve some sort of repayment for him taking Claire to that school lunch.” She snorted.
“Gideon is a complicated guy, and he’s erected a lot of walls. But if you can knock ‘em down, you’ll find he’s the most loyal, loving man I’ve ever known. Don’t doubt how he feels about you. He wouldn’t spend time with you if he didn’t care about you, agreement or not. He just may not be able to let down his guard enough to tell you his true feelings.”
Hearing Tony’s thoughts about his friend just made her care about Gideon more. “I know, but sometimes, I don’t think he wants to like me, or go any further than we are right now.” Lily stared at her lap. “You know, I never thought I’d care for someone as much as I did my husband.” She massaged the finger where her wedding ring used to be and remembered the weight of the gold band against her skin.
“And do you? Care I mean?” Tony watched her carefully.
Lily heated. The flush started at her neck, and moved simultaneously across her face and chest. “I think I might be able to,” she admitted, embarrassed to be confiding in someone she barely knew, especially one who was a friend of Gideon’s. Then again, after what they’d been through together, maybe he was the best person to confide in. “But I’m afraid to let myself care if he’s not willing to care for me as well. Oh, I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.” She covered her face in mortification. “You won’t tell him what I said, will you?”
Tony chuckled. “No, I won’t say anything,” he reassured her. “But you may have to face the fact that in order to have a relationship with Gideon, at least initially, you may have to be very obvious about how you feel. And very understanding.”
“I will,” she answered as she got out of the car at their destination. Tony followed her out, paid the driver and they entered the movie theater.
****
A refreshing breeze blew in through the window when Gideon picked up Lily to go to the baseball game. Martin Page played on the stereo and the Yankees were expected to win the game today. Yet despite these good things, Gideon was not happy. A frown furrowed his brow, his palms sweated and made the steering wheel slick and his jaw ached from being clenched tight.