Page 61 of Wrapped in Winter

“Why do you always have to make things crude?”

He laughs. “What are you talking about? That's not crude. It’s appreciative. You never complain about my words when I'm buried deep inside you.”

My breath catches again at his words and he throws his arms around me, rolling me to the side.

“Well, for someone who’s been wrapped in winter all her life, it looks like I finally thawed you out.”

My body freezes at the choice of words. “What’d you say?”

“I finally broke through.” He chuckles. “Your name is January. The coldest month here in Montana. I was just teasing you.”

My body is locked up and my heart beats so loud I can hear it in my own ears. “Actually February is the coldest.” I sit up in bed.

“This room is the coldest right now.” He begins to sit up too, circling his arm around me. I push from him and he holds me in place. “What just happened?”

I refuse to look at him. “Where did you hear that phrase?” Suddenly I feel trapped here.

He looks at me with confusion. “About being cold in January?”

“No.Wrapped in winter. Where did you hear that?”

“I don’t-I don’t know. I just said it. Its cold as fuck here and all I want is to be wrapped around you. What is the problem?”

I jump from the bed grabbing his t-shirt and throwing it on over my head and yanking it down to cover my body.

“I’m sorry January if I said something wrong. Tell me what's going on.” I turn from him and head to the bathroom but he catches my arm. “No, we're doing this. You need to work through this.”

“Through what? Let me go.” I try to shake his hand from me.

He steps in front of me, blocking me from moving. “No. Tell me. Tell me why you're angry.”

My whole body is shaking. I feel like I could throw up. I’m sweating but shivering at the same time. The room spins and my vision blurs. And all I want to do is run far from here.

Chapter 26

Drake

She’s facing me and breathing heavily but not seeing me. Her chest heaving with each new breath and I know this is about her dad. About Lily’s dad. And then it happens. Her hands are in fists and she beats on my chest. “He left us!” She hits me again. “I needed more time!” I try to grab her wrists, her forearms. “I wasn’t ready!”

I try to pull her to me, hold her, comfort her. “And then I grabbed on to the first guy I met and I started the cycle all over. My daughter doesn’t have a father because I was selfish.”

The sob that comes from her is so loud and so heartbreaking it makes me want to cry.

“You weren’t selfish. You were surviving. There’s a difference.”

“No,” she cries out. “No, I left them. I couldn’t stand to watch any of it. So I left. I leftthem.” She hits my chest again but sags into me, her whole body shaking with sobs and grief. The grief she's never worked through.

“It’s okay. Let it out. Cry it out, January. I can take it.”

She sobs harder. “No. No! You don't deserve this.”

“I want it, though. Give it to me, sweetheart. I can take it.”

“Lily needs someone. It’s not fair.”

She collapses to the floor and I go with her. We sit on the floor and she’s crying so hard I fear she’s going to throw up. “So break the cycle.”

“I’m afraid to lose again. I can’t. I don’t know how.”