Page 53 of Wrapped in Winter

“He should know the real story and not through the gossip train.”

“January already told me a bit about her time in New York.” I interrupt.

“She tell you I was there with her?” Jack asks and I nod. “Looking back I see how hard it was. I see we were all running. But I think she has a lot of guilt over that now even though she’s back here trying to do the right thing.”

Lief is silent through this.

“You don't look convinced Lief.” I say.

“I think she's selfish.” He grumbles out, drinking from his beer.

“Selfish?”

“Yup. She was selfish for running and now instead of apologizing she does everything on her own, making us worry about her even more.” He turns to me. “I see the breakdown on the horizon. And what will happen to my niece when that happens?”

I understand Lief a bit more than I did. Instead of looking like the brother who’s annoyed with her, he’s really a brother who’s worried. The weight of the world is on his shoulders too and I bet she doesn’t even recognize it since she’s so wrapped up in her grief not dealt with.

“I see you trying to step in, Drake. But there’s a lot to unpack so I wouldn’t blame you for walking away now.” Lief says.

I furrow my brows. I’m not sure if it's the liquor running through me or the anger I feel at his words. “I’m not going anywhere. So if there’s a problem–”

“Nope. No problem. I’m just giving you a way out now.”

“I don't want a way out. Whatever family bullshit you two have happening has nothing to do with me. I don’t know what she’s told you–”

“Nothing. She tells me nothing, Drake–”

“Then I’ll tell you that I know what you guys went through. I lost my sister when I was a kid. I was fourteen when she died and I miss her every fucking day. I learned to always say what I'm feeling because you may never get to say it again. I also learnedto never walk away from something that brings me happiness no matter what others think about it, or how much work it may take me to earn that happiness back.”

I drain my beer again slamming it on the bar top bringing Cole’s attention to us. And half the bar as well.

“Seems you’re going to fit in pretty well here in Wintervale.” Jack chuckles, giving a little whistle before finishing his beer, too. “You’ll get used to the stares. Nobody does nosey better than this town.”

Ignoring Jack, I keep going. “I see you, too, Lief. You want to be mad at her, and maybe you still are, but your concern probably outweighs that. Andthatmakes you angry doesn't it? I didn’t lose a parent so I can’t say whether it’s different than losing a sibling but either way, it leaves you feeling alone. I see the four of you and envy what you have. Don't take it for granted.” He turns away from me and doesn’t say a word but he hears me. “She may have left, but in the end, she came home. And she brought the most amazing little girl with her who needs a strong male influence.”

“And you think you can be that guy?” He snaps out.

“I thinkyoushould be that guy. And if by some miracle your sister does choose me down the line, I’ll love Lily like she’s my own.”

I ignore Jack's wide smile. I ignore Lief’s flaring nostrils and I ignore Cole’s concerned look. And I definitely ignore the way half the bar is watching me walk out right now.

Chapter 22

January

“How are you holding up today?”

Courtney is sitting beside me on the couch while we watch Lily play with her dolls and Joey races his little matchbox cars. Each year this day comes faster and faster.

“It’s kind of anticlimactic. Like, I knew the date was coming but between the store and Drake, I woke up today and realized what day it was instead of dreading it for weeks.”

“That’s good. You’re moving on but not forgetting. I don’t know if it will ever be easy, but maybe each year comes in a bit more peaceful than the last.”

“Maybe.”

Dad is gone fifteen years today. More than half of my life. Lily and I woke up this morning and even if she doesn’t know, she clearly felt my emotions. She snuggled with me longer in bed and when we were at the boutique for a bit, she wouldn’t leave my side. I knew I wasn’t going to get anything done and it wasn’t right for me to put my sadness on her, so we stopped for cookies and then came home. She was excited to see Joey tonight, Courtneys son, so we focused on that.

I avoided Drake's calls which I shouldn't have because if anyone, he understands. And wouldn't you know it, he showed up anyway.