Page 21 of Stryker's Ruin

Lifting her, I sit her on the breakfast bar. One hand on her thigh, I cup her cheek with my other palm.

“Your gran—Vince is not a good man. Your half-brother is from the same mold. The situation with the O’Kelleys is bringing out their worst.

“Garvey O’Kelley and his family aren’t any better. They’re all openly expressing a desire to merge the families and make peace. The people I work for believe this is the beginning of a war. Both parties are willing to put you in the middle.”

“That’s why Vince wants me to spy for him?”

“Yes.”

“A lot of innocent people could be hurt if I don’t go through with the marriage?”

“Babe, the marriage won’t fix anything. It’s really just a delay tactic. You’re a tool.”

“You’re more than a bodyguard, aren’t you?”

“I work for a company that does security. We also have connections to other agencies.”

“Like the FBI? Or the DEA?”

I nod. “And a couple local groups here in Chicago.”

“So your real job is to spy, too.”

“No. My real job is protecting you and keeping you safe. You are my number one priority. Anything else I learn is a bonus.”

She lowers her head, knotting her hands in her lap. I sense her pulling in on herself.Job.Fuck. She thinks I’m using her like everyone else.

Rubbing my hands gently up and down her arms, I try to explain what I don’t quite understand myself. “Something that has never happened before in my life has sent me into uncharted waters. I met this beautiful, innocent, brave woman who made me see that I’d been living all wrong. That there could be more to life.”

Putting my cupped hand under her chin I urge her gaze to mine. “I’m not a good man,mo stór. I spent twenty years in the military. My hands are stained with blood. Both on and off the battlefield. The work I do…” I shrug. “It will happen again. I can tell you I don’t take what I’ve done or may have to do lightly, but I also don’t lose sleep. What I do for a living is in my DNA.

“I, the men and women I work with, do our own research, make our own decisions on the merits of the cases we take. The people we go after are scum, preying on the innocent or helpless. Our mission is to protect and help those who can’t do it themselves. Do you understand?”

She nods.

“Now that I’ve met you, something seems to have shifted inside me. I’ve been on the move most of my life. You make mewant more, see that there is more to life. I— want you. I want you with me. I…”

Stepping back, I give my head a shake and roll my shoulders. What the fuck am I doing? Saying? She deserves so much more. I start to turn, but she grabs the front of my shirt.

“No. Please, don’t walk away. Say it, say it all. At least let me hear. Givemethe choice.”

Her gaze is so open and honest. I see all the pain and rejection she’s suffered, but strength is there as well. She deserves to have her own input inherlife.

“I want you. You’re smart, clever, and so fucking beautiful. I want your mind and body. I want you beside me all day and in my bed every night, all night. I don’t know if I can change enough to deserve you.

“My job is dangerous. It’s not like when I was in the military, but some of my jobs now still take me away for long periods of time. I’d make sure you were protected when I’m gone.

“But you’re young and need to explore who you are and what you want to be. Then there’s the age gap. I’m twenty years older than you. You deserve someone your age to grow old with.” I run a hand through my hair and turn away, putting distance between us. “This is wrong. I’m taking advantage of you when you’re vulnerable, innocent. You deserve so much more. You deserve better.”

“Perhaps you’re just feeling protective and responsible for me, as your client,” she offers. “Perhaps they aren’t real emotions that you’re feeling.”

“I know the damn difference. I’ve never felt like this with anyone, let alone a client.”

She holds my gaze. “You’re right, I deserve what I want.”

CHAPTER 14

Ruin