Page 79 of Dark Princess Ascending

Under the table, Brandon squeezed Morelle's hand, and she squeezed back. They needed to talk, and he hoped she would not hate him once he confessed.

46

MORELLE

Morelle let the hot water cascade over her shoulders, grateful for the privacy of the shower. She needed time alone to think, to process everything she'd learned. Nothing had really changed—she was still herself, still the same person—but somehow everything felt different.

In a way, thinking of herself as a tool was better than seeing herself as a parasite, but she wasn't either of those things, was she?

She was Morelle, a complex individual with many facets who was still growing as a person and discovering not only her strange abilities but also what she liked and didn't like, what interested her and what didn't, and she still didn't know what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.

After her sheltered and secluded existence in the temple, everything was a discovery. But whowas she, really? Was being Earth's shield her ultimate destiny?

Steam filled the bathroom as Morelle contemplated her place in this world.

She loved Annani and her new family fiercely and would defend them with her last breath if needed, and even the idea of eventually confronting the Eternal King didn't bother her if it meant protecting the people she'd come to care about.

So why did she feel so unsettled?

Perhaps the worst part was the realization about her mother. Had she really woken Morelle up because she wanted her daughter to find happiness and love? Or had it been purely strategic—activating a weapon when it was needed?

Then again, why couldn't both be true? Her mother could have loved her deeply while still needing her to do what she'd been created for.

The two weren't mutually exclusive.

And what about their father? Despite what her mother had told her, he must have known about them because the pregnancy hadn't been an accident.

It had been planned.

Still, Morelle remembered vividly what her mother had told her in the dream.

"He was sent into exile before I could tell him that I had conceived," her mother had said. "He died not knowing about you and Ell-rom. Butsince all is known here in the Fields of the Brave, he knows now."

It still bothered Morelle that her mother hadn't mentioned Ahn reincarnating like she had about the head priestess, and she hadn't said anything about him being with her in the Fields of the Brave either, but she'd said that he knew about Morelle and Ell-rom, which hinted that he was there.

Then again, her mother had said that, as a general rule, all was known in the afterlife, so perhaps she hadn't been in contact with their father since they parted on Anumati.

Another option was that her mother had lied, and still another was that the dream had been just a dream and not the spirit of her mother visiting her. But then, how could her mother have known about things that Morelle had no knowledge of at the time?

Like the fact that Ahn was dead?

After all, he had died long after her mother was no longer on this plane of existence. Could it be that Brandon had told her about the gods' history on Earth while she was in a post-stasis coma, and it had somehow registered in her mind subconsciously?

But then, what about her mother dying before her time?

Brandon could have known about that from the gods who were new arrivals on Earth, but surely he wouldn't have told Morelle about it whileshe was in a coma. Maybe he had, though. Maybe he had also told her about the queen of the gods delaying the ship.

Had Ahn known that his children had been sent to him?

According to Annani, their father had never mentioned that, but then he'd also kept the gods' origins a secret, so he wouldn't have told his Earth-born daughter that there was a spaceship on the way with her brother and sister on board.

Communication between their parents would have been too dangerous. Any message between them might have exposed her and Ell-rom's existence to their grandfather, so their mother couldn't have told their father that she was sending them to him.

It was very likely that he hadn't known.

As she finally turned off the water, Morelle felt the storm of emotions in her mind settling somewhat. The revelation that she and Ell-rom had been created for a specific purpose rather than being the product of an affair between star-crossed lovers was less romantic. Certainly, it was more pragmatic, but it wasn't terrible.

She could live with it.