Page 10 of From Coast to Coast

Remy

I don’t know, none of these are doing it for me. They all just look like dudes.

Alex

Yes. That is, in fact, the gender we are looking for.

Remy

How about this one? He seems nice.

I screenshot the profile of Brody and send it to him. Brody has the biggest thighs I’ve ever seen and is fucking ripped. He’s also 6’7” according to his profile, which seems like a bit of a stretch to me, but I’ll let him have it. His bio says he likes snowshoeing and drinking tea. Why that is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard, I don’t even know.

Alex

That guy could crack your spine like a glow stick.

Remy

He drinks tea.

Alex

Message him. Don’t call him babe.

Snorting, I shoot a generic greeting to Brody. I stare at his picture while I wait, trying to decide if it’s something I could jack off to. Maybe I’ll try, later. He messages back and I immediately smile.

Brody

Hello, how’s it going?

Ree

Not bad. This is my first time on a dating app. Lots of interesting characters.

Brody

Same. I was just propositioned by Thumper2.0, which I suppose is why I’m here, but damn, romance me a bit.

Ree

Avoid DirtyBanger400, too. He lives on Welch and is apparently very free with that information.

Brody

Noted. We might be doing this “dating app” thing wrong. Also, what’s with the weird usernames? I just chose, like, a real name. I didn’t realize I was supposed to be setting up my AOL account.

Ree

I NEED to know what your actual AOL username was. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

Brody

hockee_brodee

I let out a noise that could correctly be classified as a cackle. Okay, so based on conversational skills alone, I feel like I could definitely see myself getting off to Brody tonight. Alex sends me another text, but I ignore it.

Ree