Page 127 of Down Beat
He might not like what I had to say, but it’s the truth. What have I got from being here? If my presence had actually done something to help Rey, then yeah, I might have let the disruption to my own career—however small it is compared to his—go without complaint.
But I can’t give up on everything I’ve worked for just because somebody bigger and more recognized than me wants to use me as an ego-booster. Maybe it’s nothing unusual for him, having people knock on your door wanting to offer their services, but I gave up submitting to agents when the “stick it on the fridge” joke became too much of a hassle. Kendall and I had so many of the damn things tacked to our small Kelvinator that at least one of them would flutter to the floor every time we opened the fridge.
So I tore them off and stashed them away in the dark recesses of my closet. Out of sight, out of mind. I also stopped searching for representation purely to salvage what was left of my self-confidence.
I could only get chipped away at for so long before I felt as though I was ready to fall.
“Screw this.” I march inside and snatch up my key card from the TV cabinet before heading out the door without saying a thing to Rey.
If he can crack the shits every time things don’t go how he envisioned them, then so will I.
My knuckles dance on the dark wood, my heart tight in my chest as I wait to see if he’s still decent. Sure enough, the door creeps open and I’m greeted with a soft smile before Kris steps back to let me in.
“I’m sorry to crash your evening.”
He simply holds out an arm to guide me through to the living area.
I drop onto the sofa, yet stay perched on the edge until I’m sure he’s okay with me being here for this. “I’m at a crossroads, and I just need somebody to tell me if I’m doing the right thing.”
“I wondered how long it would be.” He drops into the single armchair, seeming to melt into his enormous hoodie.
The guy’s quite handsome, really. High cheekbones and friendly eyes. Yet he hides behind his hair, his gaze darkened with the smudges of eyeliner left from the show.
“What’s your take on this? On having me here for Rey? Is there any point to it?”
His hands fidget inside the front pocket. “He seems to think there is.”
“I know what Rey thinks.” This was a mistake. How do I know that everything I say here won’t be repeated back the next time they all get together? “Forget it.” I stand, meaning to make for the door, but Kris stops me dead.
“You’re not the first.”
I’ve never wanted to undo the past weeks of my life so bad. Take me home. “Pardon?” Jesus—my heart.
“He’s brought a girl along on tour before, thinking it would keep him level.”
Why the hell didn’t I find any sign of that when I cyber-stalked the guy? “I’m a damn fool, aren’t I?”
Kris shakes his head slowly. “No. He is.” He indicates I should sit again with a single jerk of his head.
I don’t think my legs could hold me up much longer if I tried. “When?”
“Four years back, when we were small fries.”
“Who?”
“Old school buddy. It didn’t work out.”
“Clearly.” I swear I’m going to be sick.
Kris shifts to the front of his seat, elbows braced on his knees as he clutches his hands before him. “We all thought he was an idiot when he did it last time, Tabitha. Each one of us told him to send the girl home. All she did was make him worse. But this time.…” He reaches out and touches my knee before retracting his hand. “We all thought he’d finally got it right this time around.”
I won’t cry. I won’t be weak, especially around somebody I barely know. “I still feel like a fool for believing him.”
“Why? I’m sure whatever he’s said to you, it’s the truth.”
“He told me he loves me.”
Kris nods, corners of his mouth turned down. “Maybe.”