Page 70 of Misguided
“So what is your purpose, babe?” he asks, fingers still tight on my flesh. “Tell me.”
“To care?” What good is that, though?
“To look after those around you. We’re packin’ up to set off across the fucking country, without a clue where we’re goin’, just to go get your brother, for fuck’s sake. You’re puttin’ yourself at risk by walking into an unknown situation without a goddamn care in the world because it means helping someone you love.”
My eyes burn and I snort a little laugh as I look all around the room but at his face. He’s condensed down the very thing I’ve been struggling to see, and now that it’s laid out so damn clearly before me, all I can wonder is how I was so blind before?
I do love without reason, care for others without any expectation. And I can’t imagine a life without the opportunity to do so. Maybe that was what drove me crazy being stuck in the middle of nowhere? I had so much damn time on my hands to make a difference to the people I care about, hell, to anyone’s lives, and yet it was all wasted.
I sat idly by as my father and sister went into battle for the club, unable to do a fucking thing to help—even if I knew there was no way we could win.
I should have been there when it happened. I should have been here afterward while the club grieved. I was stashed away for safety, and yet I couldn’t have cared less about my own wellbeing when people in my life needed me.
“I’m sorry if I was harsh with how I said it.” Dog’s hands drop away as I remain silent, lost in my head. “I just … I wish you could see it.”
“I do.” My voice almost fails me, drifting away on the last word.
It’s all I can see.
“Come here.” He reaches out, tugging me to his front.
My arms wrap around his midsection, and I turn my face to the side, closing my eyes as my cheek hits leather. Dog holds me tight as I breathe him in, his hands bunched in my shirt and hair.
What the hell would I have done without him? Without his guidance?
“I’m so thankful for you,” I murmur against his chest. “Promise me we’ll never lose this.”
“Never.” He places a soft kiss to the top of my head. “There ain’t a damn thing you could do that would make me walk away.”