Page 45 of Tough Love
“What about?”
I look around, feeling decidedly exposed having such a personal conversation on the street. Yet the yards are empty, people driving by as though I don’t exist.
“Evan.”
She hesitates, only the echo of the breeze as it rushes by my mouthpiece coming down the line. “Who’s Evan?”
“Remember how I mentioned a house call when I saw you in the weekend?”
“Kind of. You said something about an old flame, the cop who brought Briar to the hospital being a guy you used to date.”
I let out a short laugh. “Yeah, that’s the guy.”
“So what’s the story with him now? Is he bugging you?”
I chuckle. Is he bugging me? Not in the way she thinks. “No. It’s just …” I turn into the park before the shops and slump onto the low log fence. “I feel so filthy, thinking about him when all this other stuff is happening.”
“You can’t put your emotions on hold, babe.”
“No, but surely I should be able to focus on the more important of the two, right?” I look up at the sky, willing my tight throat to ease. “I mean, you want to know just how horrible I am?”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“I made up an excuse to go home yesterday so I could see him without my parents knowing.”
She laughs. “You delinquent, you.”
“He came over, and you know what?”
“Enlighten me.”
“I didn’t think about anything but us the whole time. I never once worried how Briar was, or thought of Kath.”
“So?”
“He had to get back to work, because he was only there on his lunch break, and all I could do for the first half hour afterward was sulk because I wish he’d kissed me. Because I wished I’d had the guts to make the first move, too.”
“Babe …”
“You want to know what’s even worse?”
She sighs.
“I caught myself wishing last night I could just skip the funeral and take Briar back to my place so I could focus solely on Evan.”
She sucks in a long breath between her teeth, making a hissing noise that pierces my ear. “Yeah, that’s a bit cool.”
I groan, leaning forward to rest my forehead against the butt of my hand.
“But,” she continues. “From what you’ve said—which isn’t much—you’ve got a valid reason for the fallout with your sister. There’s obviously something pretty bad that caused the disconnect. Reverse it. If she was in your shoes now, how do you think she would have felt?”
That’s what cuts me up the most—I don’t know. Mum said she understood what her love forhimdid, but does that mean she also felt remorse toward me, or had she done the same as me: severed the tie so completely there was nothing left to anchor us to each other?
“I really don’t know.”
“I’m sure it would have been similar, Amelia. Don’t beat yourself up too bad over it. So you’ve got a crush on a guy you used to date? Who cares? What’s so wrong with that?”
“The timing.”