Page 108 of Tough Love
He stared at it for a solid minute, his brow slightly furrowed and his body unmoving, before he packed away the questions for later and carried on—albeit a lot grumpier.
I’ve been watching him carefully in the weeks since, waiting for him to decide he was ready to discuss it and approach me first, but then Mum happened.
“Hopefully we get it all set up in time.” I eye the dimming sky, calculating in my head where my parents will be with Briar.
They flew over for the holidays last week, surprising Briar by being the ones to pick him up on the last day of the school term. A plan that would have gone off spectacularly had Mum not accidentally put her foot in it.
“What are you looking forward to most for Christmas, Briar?”She’d asked as they made the drive home.
His answer added another forty minutes to the trip and an impromptu roadside counselling session between Briar and my dad.
He misses her, which is normal, but he also doesn’t think he deserves to celebrate if she can’t too. It’s heartbreaking that he feels unworthy of living after she’s gone like that.
Which is why Mum and Dad have taken him out for the day, so I can decorate the apartment. To show Briar it’s okay to be happy. It’s okay to enjoy the season with the ones around you, and that we can also remember those we’ve lost at the same time.
I kneel down and reach into the shopping bag, pulling out the biggest surprise: a framed picture of Kath and Briar at his first Christmas that will sit under the tree.
“I hope I don’t upset him more with this.” I track my thumb along its edges, torn on what to do.
“I think he’ll know you’ve done it with only good intentions,” Evan says close behind me.
I twist and look into his face as he leans over me, always at awe that I was gifted this second chance with him. “I just don’t want him to forget her because the grief keeps his memories locked away.”
“Which is why this,” he says, gesturing to the image, “is so important. You’re ensuring he keeps her close the only way he can, by accepting she’s gone.”
“I sometimes wonder if it’ll ever stop, you know? The pain.”
“I doubt it.”
I sigh, leaning into Evan’s legs. “Life is fickle, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” He reaches down to take me by the arm, coaxing me to my feet. “But it’s also something complex we’ll never have the honour to fully understand.”
Exactly. Like how after almost ten years this gorgeous man could walk back into my life and reclaim my heart as though he never let it go. “I could never have loved someone else like I do you.” I push up on my toes to whisper the last words against his mouth.
He captures my lips between his, one hand roving to my lower back as he whispers in reply. “I never would have let you.”
And I don’t doubt that for a second.
He may have left me when I needed him most as a teenager, but he’s made up for that ten times over by being there for me as an adult. How many people can actually say their significant other literally risked their life for them?
I’ll never be able to repay that, so all I can do is to hope that I get a chance to remind him daily how much I appreciate what he did.
“Love you, Officer North.”
“Love you more, Mimi.” He chuckles, running his nose the length mine.
“What?” I lean back against the strong arm that’s wrapped around my waist. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because here I am with a massive boner, thinking about leaving the lights where they are and taking you indoors …” He sighs. “And your parents pull up.”
I twist, looking down the stairwell. “What?”
“Yeah. I just heard them.”
Sure enough, Dad’s deep baritone drifts up from the car park.
“Shit! We need to hide the rest of this stuff.” I pull away from Evan, only to have him wrench me back against his chest.