Page 85 of Existential
“No offense taken.”
“So.” His hand lingers a little lower on my collarbone, stroking the exposed ridge. “You ready to get a belly full and head down south with me?”
“Yes and no.”
He frowns, using his free hand to tip my face to his. “Why not?”
“It means I’m serious about this.”
He simply stares in silence. Yet why? I can’t decide if it’s trepidation, wonder, or a bit of both.
“Say something,” I plead. “I feel awkward as shit right now.”
“Does that worry you? Being serious?”
“Does it worry you?” I match his pose, propped up on one elbow.
“Not at all.”
“We haven’t talked about this, not really.” I wave my hand between us. “I mean, what are we?”
“I thought I made that pretty obvious last night?” he says.
I guess he did. But how do I know that he doesn’t do that with just anyone? That what we shared was special to us?
“I guess I’m not sure since we haven’t actually labeled it, is all.”
He leans forward, placing a close-mouthed kiss to my lips. “We’re two people who feel a strong connection explorin’ where it takes them.”
I nod, acknowledging that part at least. “But is it exclusive? Are we an item?”
“Did you think we would be anything other?” His frown shows his confusion at my questions.
“I wasn’t sure, Hooch. That’s why I asked.” I flop onto the mattress again and roll away.
He reaches out, his hand resting lightly on my side. “What’s the real question, Dagne?”
Damn him. Why does he have to be so good at reading me? “What are you normally like?”
“You know that.” He scoots closer, enveloping my body in warmth.
“Not, like all the time. I mean … with girls.”
He chuckles, his breath hot against the back of my neck where he’s stroked the hair away. “First of all, they ain’t girls, they’re women.”
I smile, even though I’m still annoyed at him for calling me out on my insecurity.
“Second, what does it matter?”
“I want to know if you’re being real with me.” I roll in his hold, staring up at such a ridiculously handsome beast. “I want to know if this will last. If you’re not being yourself, if you’re not comfortable with this, then what chance do we stand?”
“What makes you think I’m treatin’ you special?”
I shrug. “I don’t. That’s just it.”
He sighs, running his fingers down the side of my face. I lean into his touch without intending to.
“It’s no secret that I like to fuck hard. But what I had with you last night?” He sighs, seemingly searching for the right words. “It was more. There was a connection. I had a genuine need to make you feel as good as I damn well could. I’ve never given a shit like that before. Trust me when I say the intensity I feel with you is the most real I’ve ever been.”
It shouldn’t move me to tears, that confession, but damn it all if I don’t smile to stop from blubbering instead. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Now.” He rolls to his back, dragging me with him so I lie on top. “Eat first, play later? Or play now, eat later?”
“I think we should work up an appetite.”
His hands trail to my ass and give it a generous squeeze. “Sounds like a good fuckin’ plan to me.”