Page 79 of Existential
She doesn’t just kiss me. The connection is so much more. For her, such a guarded heart, to offer this vulnerability to me … I don’t discount what that means, not one single bit.
“How about we ease into our PDAs, then?” she asks after I finally relent and let her go. “You can put your arm around my shoulders or something.”
I suck in a sharp breath between my teeth, grimacing as I tease her. “You sure? That might give it all away.”
Her small hand hits me solidly in the chest. “Shut up.”
“It’s too easy.” I step back, offering her my hand. “Ready?”
“Just promise me one thing?”
“Fire away.”
“You’ll do what you say and keep me safe?” She glances up at me from under her lashes and I almost come undone right there and then. “I played it down, but Digits’ messages did make me worry.”
“You think I was kiddin’ around about that?” When I love something, I protect it with all I’ve got. It’s just that so far all I’ve had to love is my family. Yet I’m pretty sure the loyalty would stay the same.
“No, I don’t think you were kidding,” she answers, tugging at my hand. “But I didn’t really give you the full story about Digits before either.”
“I’m listening.”
She flexes her hand, and I realize I’m crushing it just thinking what she might say. I let go completely before I hurt her when she does actually speak.
“I played down how he made me feel because I could see you were both getting really angry with just the messages.”
“What else has he been doin’?” Fucker better not be where I can find him if he knows what’s good for him.
She tips her head side to side, sucking on her bottom lip. “I still don’t want to start a fight, Hooch.”
“If you’ve got it in your head that you’re causin’ trouble just because you’re an ‘outsider’ and he’s one of my brothers, then quit it. I don’t give a fuck how long a man’s been in my club; you treat a woman, especially one I care a great deal about, like this, history means nothin’.”
“But wouldn’t the rest of your club hold it against me?” she pushes. “Until now, you were united, and now—”
“Now nothing,” I stress. “Babe, our chapter was fucked years ago. We’ve been climbin’ out of the shit, but it’s a slippery slope and every now and again, we slide backwards.”
“So I wouldn’t be disturbing the peace, so to speak?”
“Far from it.” I reach out and tuck her hair behind her shoulder. “You’re just shinin’ a light on the cracks so we can see them.”
It’s not enough; I can see it in the firm set of her lips, the hard line of her brow. She’s been the cause of conflict in the past, and the thought of doing it again tears at those memories.
“You know what’s different now?” I ask.
She shakes her head, fussing with my cut.
“Even if one of those fuckers does get a bee in his bonnet about this shit, you ain’t in it alone.”
Her chin lifts, and she tries to smile.
“You got me to walk with you, babe. Any of those guys in there have issue with me reprimanding an officer for his behavior, they take it up with me. Okay?”
“Okay. I guess.”
I run a hand over my face, trying for another angle. “If I don’t call Digits out on what he did, what kind of message do you think that gives him?”
“That it’s okay?”
“Right. And what then? How many more girls is he going to emotionally blackmail before it’s enough?”