Page 65 of Existential
TWENTY-NINE
Hooch
God never put a more perfect creature on this earth than an empathetic woman. I reach out and pull Dagne to me, positioning her so she’s curled in on my lap with her head tucked beneath my chin. I came in here needing the contact for myself, but I think in the end it’s helped us both.
She says she’s fought her battle with the black dog before, but I think she’s only learned how to kennel it for the time being. Keeping people at arm’s length isn’t a healthy coping strategy. Like I’m one to talk.
“You still didn’t give me any advice on my problem,” I say.
She pulls away enough to be able to look me in the eye. “About being president?”
“Yeah.”
Her hand traces a pattern around the stitching on my cut. “I think you’re asking the wrong person; you need to talk to your friends about that.”
“I don’t know how to.” If I did, I would have said it before and not bolted from the room.
“Honest and direct. It’s always worked for me.”
“Yeah?”
She mumbles something I don’t catch before pulling a deep breath in. “Might not have had the right outcome, but it sure cleared any confusion over things.”
“Your mom?”
“Yeah.”
“Can’t be as bad as mine.” I chuckle, thinking back to Murphy’s reaction when I said I’d reached out to her. Can’t blame the guy really; he remembers more than I do, having known her as an adult not a child.
“We’ll wager that shall we?” Dagne shifts so she’s astride my legs, hands rested on my stomach.
It’s nice. It’s right.
“My mom won’t even answer my phone calls,” she says. “What’s the worst yours does?”
“Left over twenty years ago, and the only person from the club she’s spoken to since is Dad’s favorite whore.”
“What?” Her face screws up in disbelief.
“Uh-huh. I see your distant mother and raise you a crazy one.”
She chuckles, hiding her smile behind one of her hands.
I pull it away, shaking my head. “Don’t hide that from me.”
Her smile fades, the rise of her cheeks glowing pink.
“If you want me to last the distance in this shit-fight called life, you’ve got to promise you’ll stick around too.”
The hesitation doesn’t go unnoticed. “I promise.”
“Good.”
The air charges with unspoken questions, confusion thick in the silence between us. I can’t place a finger on what it is this traveller possesses that nobody has before her, but I know I need it. I’ve lost direction in life, and without her to steer me toward the sunrise I’d be forever lost in the dark, dank depths of my mind.
The door swings open, breaking our moment as Dagne scrambles to get off my lap. She stands awkwardly beside the washer while Jo Jo looks her over with his signature cool indifference.
“Everyone’s lookin’ for you, boss.”