Page 98 of Malaise
I’m in awe of this woman. None of this is helping Brett’s cause, but damn, Tanya has spirit.
“Feelings aside,” I say, breaking in before they can restart where they left off, “can you promise to at least think on it?”
Dad looks me over, now on his feet in response to Tanya’s threatening stance. “There’s nothing to think on, Meg.”
“Have you not already done enough?” I gesture for Tanya to back away and step between them. “I can stomach what you’ve done to me, find a way to let go of the fact that Den’s death only shone a light on the cracks that were already in our family, but this? Why go to such an extent to hurt me?”
He opens his mouth to protest, yet I raise a hand to quiet him. He begrudgingly complies, arms crossed over his chest.
“We’ve accepted the fact that we don’t see eye to eye, and you laid down your ground rules. I spoke my piece when I disagreed, and then left when you asked me to. I suffer enough trying to get by on minimum wage. I’m hurting enough knowing that the only family I have left don’t want me. But are you really that cold that you’d twist the knife a little more by denying me the one thing, the one person, who gives me hope, all so you can feel vindicated? Because if you are that cold, Dad, then you’re no better than Jon Carver, and I guess that in turn makes me just the same as Brett, the person you’re trying to distance me from.”
He stands stunned, without a single rebuttal to fire my way.
Tanya moves to my side and leans in close, whispering, “We’ve done all we can, Meg.”
I nod, backing away to follow her from the room. “I hope you talk to Mum about this, Dad. Because I’m sure she wouldn’t want this for me, hell, for any of us.”
“Your mother doesn’t tell me what to do.” I barely catch his words as he speaks down to the floor. “I make the rules in this house.”
“I know,” I reply through gritted teeth as I reach the front door. “It’s a fucking shame though, otherwise perhaps somebody with a bit of heart could have stopped it coming to this.”
“And what exactly is ‘this,’ Meg?”
I lift my chin and stare him square in the eye. “Deciding it’s easier to live my life as an orphan than try and work out what I ever did to make you hate me so much.”
“I don’t hate you,” he offers quietly.
“Let me guess, you’re just disappointed.”
His hard stare says it all, even before the minute nod he gives me.
So much worse.