Page 75 of Malaise
TWENTY-TWO
The night hascooled to single digits by the time we leave the zip line and start the walk back to the car. I haven’t laughed or smiled this much in a long time—too long. Eighteen rides, and eighteen stories. Memories of me and Den when we were barely school age, memories of happier times with Mum when I was still young and wore dresses without having to be persuaded to, and finally the best memory of all….
“I’ve got one more for you,” I tell Carver as our hands swing between us in time with our steps.
“Fire away, then.” He gives me a little tug, releasing my hand to capture my shoulders with the same arm.
I loop my own around his waist, my hip jostling against his leg as we walk. “Well, there was this time when I’d had a really bad week or so, right? And honestly, I had no idea how long the shitty mood was going to last or when things would get better. It had just been one bad thing after another.” His hand squeezes on my shoulder. “But I met this guy, right? And, well, it’s not that I was looking for him, but he was there, and you know how these things go.”
“Not really, Meg. No.” His arm is like a log, weighing down on me, as does the tone of his words. “Enlighten me.”
“I wouldn’t have normally looked twice, thought anything of it. I mean, he was just so… I don’t know, unattainable?”
“Sounds like you didn’t know this guy too well.” His arm slips off and he goes back to holding hands, a distance between our previously joined hips.
“I still don’t.”
“Is this a good memory, Meg?” He stops walking, forcing me to turn toward him. We stand toe to toe while he looks me over, jaw rolling as he grinds his teeth. “Maybe whatever you and this guy did at the time was good, but where is he now?”
I can’t hide my smile knowing the conclusion he’s come to; he’s completely missed my point. His clipped words and serious frown give it all away—he thinks I’m talking about some summer fling, a meaningless interaction. He couldn’t be further from the truth.
“He’s right here.” My fingertip meets a solid wall of muscle beneath his shirt.
Confusion reigns supreme before Carver’s lips spread in an endearing smile. “You were talking about me?”
“Duh.” I roll my eyes. “You might not know much about me either still, but here’s one fast fact, buddy: I don’t sleep around, and I sure as shit have never had a one-night stand or anything remotely like it.”
A warm hand envelops the side of my neck, the other tightening its hold on mine. He just smiles, the look in his eyes echoing infinite relief. “Tell me how the story ends, then.”
“He realises how much she needs him,” I whisper, “and he’s totally okay with that.”
“I’m okay with that.” He dips his head, our noses an inch apart. “If it makes her feel better.”
“It makes her feel…” Hot. Excited. Thankful. Hopeful. Relieved. “…appreciated.”
Carver’s grip on my neck grows firm. His fingertips bite into the back of my neck, which in turn forces me to move my head closer to his. I brace for the moment, giddy-as-fuck, and impatient for that gentle brush of his lips on mine.
He kisses the tip of my nose and then breaks away. Cold air replaces his grasp on my neck, a wave of rejection in place of his body heat.
“Are you ready to take the last step, then?”
“To what?”
“Knowing everything. Not hiding. Sharing all our ugly secrets.”
I frown, crossing my arms protectively over my body. “I guess.”
“I’ve got one more thing to show you, so you know all of me, all of where I come from and what being a part of my life means.” He sighs, regret in his eye and leans in to sweep a gentle kiss across my lips. “It’s time to meet my dad, Meg.”
***
“Why do I get the feeling that until now you’ve been lying to me? That you never intended to let me see him?” I lean forward in my seat and stare at the tall, intimidating fences of where Carver lives.
“Because I was. Well, not really lying, I just hoped I could distract you and this weekend would become the next, and so on.”
“What made you change your mind, then?”
“Because if you and me are ‘a thing’,” he says with a frown, “I want you to see what you’re getting yourself into.” His face falls as he turns his head to vacantly stare at the fence.