Page 54 of Malaise
Carver places his fingers on the underside of my jaw and tips my head toward him. “I know. Let’s just head back to the motel, okay?”
I stare into his eyes, mustering as much conviction as possible. “Did you know?”
He shakes his head and sighs. “No. I didn’t.”
I believe him. The sadness, the regret in his eyes: he really didn’t know that his dad was the last person Den likely spoke to.
“I want to talk to him, your dad.”
“And then what?” Carver asks gently. “What closure do you think that’d give you if Jasper was right?”
I shrug, looking over at the dark street where Jasper’s car left. “I just want the whole thing put to bed. Even if your dad doesn’t have anything good to say, at least I know for sure what happened, right?” I frown, letting the confusion at what’s real these days stave off more tears.
Strong arms wrap me tight, and the warmth of Carver’s breath heats the top of my head. “If you want answers, baby, we’ll get them. But not tonight, okay?”
“Promise?”
He slips his hands to my hair and holds me close as the lights in the front of the supermarket systematically switch off. “Promise.”
I listen to his heartbeat beneath my ear, steady and sure, as near darkness envelops us. A week ago this man was nothing but a mystery that I sometimes caught a glimpse of outside the auto shop. But now, here he is, making promises to me that in all reality he has no duty to uphold.
Why me?How did I get so lucky to have this constant in such unstable times? Was it fate that we crossed paths? Was I supposed to get to know him so I’d get answers about what Den was doing that day?
Maybe, but I like to think it’s more.
I lift my left hand and slip it along the side of Carver’s face. His eyes drift closed and he lets out a slow, satisfied sigh through his nose. My fingertips explore the hard edges of his jawbone, and the taut flesh of his neck. I wait for him to pull back, to put distance between us like he always does. And yet he doesn’t. He leans in.
“Stay with me,” he murmurs. “Make me that promise.”
“I’m not going anywhere tonight but back to the motel with you.”
“I don’t just mean now.” His brow pinches, and he unleashes those baby blues on me when I’m at my weakest with him. “I mean always. After your exams are finished, don’t leave this town without me.”
“Where could I go?” I ask honestly. I’ve got hardly any money, no options, and a future that’s so far off the planned track I can’t even see the fork in the road anymore.
Carver shrugs at my question, that crooked smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “Who knows? But promise me wherever it is, you’ll let me drive?”
I chuckle and push up on my tiptoes to place a chaste kiss on his nose. “Always.”