Page 47 of Malaise

I scoff, rising to my feet and stepping toward the door. “Oh, I don’t know, Mum. That you love me? And that you’re sorry this is how things have ended up?”

She turns her head to stare stoically out the front window. I hesitate, hoping she’s simply gathering her words. But as the seconds tick by it becomes increasingly obvious that no, she’s not; she simply has nothing else she wants to say.

Even now.

Ouch.

“See you at the funeral, Mum. I’ll put the key back in the same place once I’m finished.”

My heart tears apart as I step out the front door for what will probably be the last time. So many memories here, so many milestones, and yet this is the worst of them all.

I guess in the end having your parents break your heart is a lot like losing baby teeth—it hurts for a while, but you persevere in the knowledge that what comes after the loss is something stronger, something better.

I’m leaving behind the girl I once was to become the woman I want to be.

And I’ve never in my lifefelt more like I’m doing the right thing.