Page 47 of The Monsters We Are
“You miss them both,” he sensed.
“I do.”
“Did Agnes know what you are?”
“I think she guessed. There were a few things she said that hinted at it. But she never outright asked me. Maybe because she knew I’d lie and she didn’t want to create a situation where she’d have to force a truth out of me that could very well condemn me.”
“And Rafe? Did he know?”
She shook her head. “He sensed that I was different, but I don’t believe he suspected that I was a revenant. I think he simply thought that death had warped my magick in strange ways.”
“As you have him to thank for all your training, I’m glad you had him in your life. Though I’ll admit I’m petty enough to not like hearing you speak of another man with such affection.”
“I’m petty enough that I would have had the same reaction if our situations were reversed, so I can’t judge.” She licked her lips. “I didn’t care for him the way I do you. He was . . . an addition to my life. You’re central to mine.”
Cain’s chest squeezed. “As you are to mine.” She probably had no idea what it did to him to hear her say such things. No one else had ever openly loved or claimed him the way she did. His mother and Seth cared for him, might even love him. But the relationships Cain had with them had always been complicated. With Wynter, it was the opposite.
Before her, he’d only existed on the periphery of the worlds of those in his life. Even surrounded by people, he’d always been alone. He hadn’t really lamented it; hadn’t craved more. Until Wynter.
Even at the beginning, it hadn’t been enough for him to sit on the sidelines and be a mere part of her life. He’d felt driven to infiltrate it. To make a place for himself in it.
Cain hadn’t only wanted for her to belong to him. That hadn’t been enough for him. He’d wanted to belong to her in turn. And now that he had what he’d so badly yearned all along, he knew there was nothing he wouldn’t do to keep it. To keepher.
Likewise, he couldn’t imagine a scenario in which his creature would ever let her go. It had claimed her as its own. That wasn’t something such an entity would ever do or take lightly.
Cain slipped his hand beneath the sleek curtain of her hair to palm her nape. “Have you given any thought to bonding with my monster?”
“I have. And, on a personal level, I have nothing against the idea.”
Satisfaction bloomed inside him and perked up his creature, who’d been in a foul mood since having to sit across from Adam.
“But it makes sense to wait until after the present danger has passed.”
Cain frowned, and his monster stilled. “How does that make sense?” There was no logic at all in delaying it; no reason she’d reach such an idiotic conclusion. Unless . . . “Wait, are you trying to protect me?” Surely not.
She straightened her shoulders. “Hey, I know you’re a big, bad Ancient—yippee for you. But you’re not invincible. The last thing you need right now, with all the shit going on around us, is for anything to weaken you.”
“I’ve already explained that the bond wouldn’t weaken me even if you died.”
“That’s providing I come back from death. But as you so often remind me, we can’t know for sure that Kali will always return me to this realm. If She didn’t—”
“I’d find some way to drag you back.”
“You’dtry.But not even your hold on my soul could cheat death. At the moment, there’s all kinds of danger hovering around me. It’s not a good time for your creature to tie its life-force to mine. You can’t afford to be stuck in a deep state of Rest recovering from the effects of a broken preternatural bond. The other Ancients need you—”
“And I need you,” he all but growled.
She gently squeezed his shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m just saying it’s best to wait a little while before I bind myself to your monster.”
It snarled in disagreement. “We don’t want to wait.”
“Shocker. Like it or not, I’m making a valid point here. And as it happens, we need to be certain of something before we go through with it.”
Cain unlocked his back teeth. “What?”
“A person’s life-force is the energy their soul gives off, right? My soul is undead, remember? I don’t know what kind of energy it gives off, but it might not be agoodkind; it might be something that harms or weakens your creature. I could be wrong. It could be a senseless concern. But I need to know for sure before we proceed.”
“Your life-force has a dark energy, yes, but nothing that would harm my creature.”