Page 40 of Mountain Bean Dream
We were face-to-face.
A breath’s distance apart.
His warm, steady breath mingled with mine, and I swore the world had narrowed to just this: his hand firm on my waist, his chest brushing mine, the sudden awareness of how solid and real he felt against me. I was certain he could hear the pounding of my heart—it was so loud, so insistent, I couldn’t ignore it myself.
“Yeah, I do,” I replied softly.
My eyes darted to his lips before I could stop myself. They hovered close enough to kiss, and for one reckless second, I thought he might. My toes curled in my shoes, half in anticipation, half in panic.
“I think you’re amazing too. Always have.” His voice was calm and steady, but his eyes lingered on mine in a way that made my stomach flip. Then he leaned a fraction closer, and I froze. The moment hung heavy in the air, stretched taut as a violin string.
Then, just as quickly, it snapped. He wrapped me tightly in his arms, pressing his head into the curve of my neck.
A semi-truck and trailer whizzed by; its roar breaking the spell like a cold splash of water.
The realization hit me like that truck might have if Jeremy hadn’t pulled me back. He wasn’t leaning in to kiss me. He was shielding me—from what? The spray of loose gravel? The wind? Theworld?
I was an idiot to even think it was anything else. A hopelessly romantic, absurd idiot. And why had I thought about it? Jeremy wasn’t my type. He didn’t check a single box on my mental list of Ideal Boyfriend Traits. So why was my heart still racing like a trapped bird? Why did I feel more off-kilter in his arms than I had when I nearly tripped?
His arms loosened, and I stumbled back onto my feet, trying to recover some semblance of dignity. My head, however, was still miles above me, spinning in clouds of things I couldn’t name, much less understand.
We resumed walking as if nothing had happened. He shoved his hands casually into his pockets, his stride easy, as if holding me like that was as natural to him as breathing. Maybe it was. Maybe to him, it reallywasn’ta big deal.
But I couldn’t stop reliving the moment, replaying the way his eyes had softened, the heat of his hand on my waist, the way I’d hoped for something I didn’t even know I wanted. Maybe I was imagining things, or maybe Jeremy was the greatest actor I’d ever met. Hollywood needed to watch his performance. Holy beans,Ineeded to figure out what role I was playing in this bizarre little drama.
With my head out of the clouds and my feet back on solid ground, I shook my head, trying to remember where we’d been in conversation before. Oh right. I cleared my throat and focused on the road ahead of us.
“You know, we had such different upbringings. I led such a sheltered life next to you, where someone was always hovering over me. What I wouldn’t have given for a little privacy. I didn’t even share anything in a diary because I was so afraid someonewould read it.” Or share it online. I didn’t even have my own personal social media accounts, just those that my team thought they needed on my behalf. Holly Gaudreau was a brand.
“Wow.”
“Right? Sounds like we each wanted what the other had.”
He kicked at a rock, sending it far off into the forest. “Well, I’m pretty sure you didn’t want to be a ghost.”
“And I’m pretty sure you didn’t want every little thing documented.” It was so invasive. Nothing was secret. My friends were vetted for me and my classes chosen. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without someone being notified.
“So why did you leave?”
“I wanted a different life. One that I controlled.”
“And I totally understand that.”
“I believe you do.”
* * *
We arrived at the Coffee Loft, and it was strange for me to be entering as a customer. Mondays were my day off anyway, so I wouldn’t even normally have darkened the doorway, but still. It was weird.
Jeremy held the door open as we entered.
“It’s a brewtiful day, Molly. Welcome back. How are you feeling?” Annie was chipper and practically bouncing on her toes.
“I’m better today, thanks. Still super sore, and I can’t move my arm much.”
“Aww, that’s too bad.” She twisted toward Elliot, who was busy refilling the display case with fresh pastries. “Are you starting right away?”
I shook my head. “Today’s my day off. Thought I’d join Jeremy for a coffee.” I tried to be as nonchalant as could be,but before he pulled his head back, Elliot had given me a raised brow look, his gaze darting between me and Jeremy. “He’ll have his regular—a flat white made with whole milk and one pump of hazelnut in the Snoopy and Woodstock mug, with a chocolate knot on the side.” I turned to Jeremy, feeling a little like I’d overstepped. “Right?”