Page 4 of Mountain Bean Dream
A harsh, dismissive laugh from Derek sliced the air. “Assuming I get the job—and there’s no reason I wouldn’t, considering my terms are beyond reasonable—I’m not coming back. I’m done with this small-town crap. Everyone knows everyone’s business, and I’m moving on up. Big things, you know?”
The bluntness of his words twisted the knife already lodged deep in my chest. A faint metallic tang coated my tongue as I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek to stifle the sudden surge of nausea.
Then, like a final blow, he added, “I’m meeting the realtor tonight to start the process of getting my place listed. As soon as the acceptance letter comes through, it’s gone.”
The floor beneath me seemed to shift, unsteady and cold. My knuckles brushed the seam of the wall as I leaned harder against it, like the hospital itself was the only thing keeping me upright.
“Oh, dang,” Derek continued, his voice dripping with nonchalance. “I’m supposed to meet Molly for supper tonight. Some romantic dinner she wanted. Oh well, I’ll have to push that back.”
The casual dismissal, theoh well, seared through me.
“She moving with you?”
A snort followed, low and derisive. “As if I was interested in that.”
My stomach turned to lead.
“She works a dead-end job at that coffee shop and rents arinky-dink room at the motel off 93A. There’d probably be more for her in Calgary than here, but then, I’d have to take care of her until she got on her feet. That’s too much work for someone I’m just passing time with.”
The words exploded in my chest; a series of shrapnel wounds I couldn’t escape.Just. Passing. Time. With.Each syllable landed like a blow, relentless and unrelenting.
My vision blurred, and I realized I’d been holding my breath. A lump of pain clawed its way up my throat, burning and raw. Slowly, I pushed off the wall, my legs trembling beneath me. The air in the hallway felt stifling now, the once-calm hum of the hospital turning into an overwhelming roar.
I made it a few steps toward the entrance before the anger boiled over, hot and sharp. I froze, swallowing hard, my heart thudding painfully in my chest. Turning back on my heel, I strode toward the nurses’ station, jaw clenched, shaking my head. If Derek thought he could dismiss me so easily, he had another thing coming.
My thoughts were erratic and my heart was pounding so hard it drowned out the idle noise of the area. Leaning on the desk, I glanced around for a nurse, wondering what I was going to say to Derek when I saw him.
A hand tapped on my shoulder, and I whipped around.
“Hey,” Derek said as a charming grin filled his clean-shaven face. Dang, he was so calm, it was hard to be all fired up in his presence. “I called out to you but you didn’t hear me. You okay?”
I dropped my gaze down to his soft button-up shirt and over to the lab coat emblazoned with the hospital’s name before reconnecting with his dark brown eyes, the kind that normally put me right at ease.
Dang, how could I have been so foolish to believe that we’d been something special? To have thought he liked me forme? He had seemed so different from the others, and yet, here I was needing to cut the ties. Again.
“I, ah, yeah. I have some bad news.”
“Oh?” His features morphed into seriousness and the vee on his forehead deepened into a crevasse. “Everything okay?”
“No, actually.” I shook my head and wrapped my fingertips around the edging of the countertop on the nurse’s desk.
“What’s going on? Do you want to talk about it in the office?” He glanced down the hall. “I think one’s available but Casper is in the other.”
The lump in the back of my throat formed thorns, scratching with each swallow. My legs felt like spaghetti and my breathing rate was nearly cardio limits.
“Derek, I’m afraid…”
“What?” He placed a manicured hand on my arm and I stared at it, looking at the lines carved into his finger joints and the small valleys between his knuckles.
I could do this. I had to save face. I couldn’t just be someone to pass the time with, not when I had thought he was my everything. I wanted to storm in here and give him a piece of my mind, but now I felt like a beginner trying to play chess against a grandmaster. His calm was maddening—it made me question everything I was feeling. But I couldn’t back down now. I couldn’t let him see how much he’d unraveled me.
“I’m… I’m breaking up with you,” I blurted, then immediately hated the way it sounded—too final, too bold. My palms were clammy. Was I really doing this? “I mean, I have to. I can’t keep doing this if I’m just…” My voice wavered, and I could feel my face heating up. “If I’m just someone you’re passing the time with.”
His hand fell to his side and like a kaleidoscope, his features changed again. “What? Why?”
I glanced back to the office doorway where his true thoughts had been vocalised.
Inhaling a courageous breath, I exhaled and stared at his chest, slowly rising to meet his steely-eye stare. “I’m sorry, but not really.” I shook my head. “It’s not going to work out, you and me. Not when I heard what you just said to your buddy back there.” Like a major idiot, I pointed to the office with a shaky arm. “Just so you know, I like working at the Coffee Loft and my apartment may be a monthly rental, but it’s my place, and I think it’s cozy and perfect.” I blinked, unsure what part of my mind was taking over, because I’d never been so bold as to toss back what someone has said about me. “And I wouldn’t like Calgary anyway. Too big a city for me. Jasper is where I am—not that you had planned on asking me to join you or anything. It’s over.”