Page 73 of It's a Brewtiful Day
“Let me explain. Breathe, Elliot.” I cupped his chin and held his gaze firmly with my eyes. “By using more body wash, the extra will rub off onto your sweater and when I borrow it, I can smell you all day long.”
A smile as big as the glacier we were parked at the foot of spread across his face. “That doesn’t sound like a grievance.”
“It is. It’s huge. Big. Getting a whiff of you is super important to me and when I can’t smell you, why… I’m just lost.” It was borderline painful to not be around him, but at least a whiff of him soothed my ruffled feathers.
“That’s sweet.”
“Like you.”
“And I will always find you, you know.”
“Always.” My gaze danced all around his face. “Elliot, this is the happiest I’ve ever been in a relationship. I appreciate all the little things you do for me, like these monthly grievance release parties.”
“That’s only so I can learn from you and reassure you that I’m not leaving. Or givingyoua weak reason to leave.”
“Well, thank you for making the cinnamon rolls without raisins, as that would’ve been a sure sign you want me out of your life.”
He shook his head. “I don’t ever want you out of my life.”
“And I don’t want you to leave. You’re too important to me, and I love you so much.” That was unexpected. My heart pounded harder than it ever had, but now that the words were out, there was no take-backsies.
The weight of what I had just said turned his eyes as large as saucers. But rather than speak, move, or dare to breathe, he sat there frozen and unblinking. I did the same, hoping that life had just hit the pause button to give me a moment to reflect on what was just vocalised. I didn’t think I was ready to say it, and yet it fell out so naturally, it had to have been there brewing under the surface, just waiting for the perfect moment to come out. But I didn’t think sitting on a bench, airing our grievances, was that moment.
“You’ve never said those words before,” he finally spoke.
“I know.” I swallowed, pulling my bottom lip over my teeth, and looked anywhere but at him.
There were groups of people walking around and a huge tour bus was pulling off the Icefield Parkway into the parking lot.
“You okay?”
I shook my head, trying to breathe and calmmy racing heart. “To be honest, I’m freaking out a touch.”
He inched himself closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. The heat from his chest pushing into mine was welcome, and I leaned into him fully to absorb all that I could. “Let me reassure you then. There’s nothing to be freaked out about. I’m certainly not.”
“You’re not?”
“No, why would I be? I’ve known for a while that I love you too, but I was too scared to say anything.”
“Because I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to reciprocate the words when you weren’t ready. I wanted you to say it when it meant something to you, and until that point, I was okay to keep those particular words to myself.”
“Oh, Elliot.” My vision blurred as I took in his handsome face. “You are seriously the sweetest.” I pushed out of his embrace and stood on the bench, tossing my hands out to the side as I yelled. “I LOVE YOU ELLIOT FOX! I love you! I love you with my whole heart!”
A small group of people walked by, staring at my lunacy (although one clapped) but I didn’t care.
I continued shouting out into the void. “I love this man! He is wonderful and kind and patient and he is the most amazing human being to have ever walked the Earth.”
Elliot stepped up to face me on the bench. “I think that last part is a little over the top.”
“You make me happy, so deliriously happy.”
“And I can say the same about you.”
I stared into his deep, mossy green eyes. “I love you, Elliot. I really do, and I’m so sorry it took so long to say it.”
He held my hands between his and searched deep into my soul. “Don’t be sorry, you have nothing to apologise for. I know how you feel. I’ve seen it in your actions and other words.”
My heart was ready to explode and I needed him to hold me together. “Thank you for being you.”