Page 54 of It's a Brewtiful Day

The length of the night was pressing on my shoulders, as was waiting on Nina’s return. Letting out an exasperated breath in a solid whoosh, I walked over to a stool and sat on it, resting my head on the palm of my hand. Where was Nina? Where was the rescue crew?

“We’re almost there. Someone will be here soon.” His words were reassuring, although the uptick in my anxiety was not. Tenderly, he tucked a wayward stringy strand of hair behind my ear.

“It’s a mess out there.” I scrunched up myface and on a quick scan, counted over twenty pieces of litter within eyesight. “Such a mess. The Dream Clean Crew will be put to work.”

Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply.

Elliot cleared his throat. “About last night…”

My focus fell to my hands, twisting together until my knuckles turned white.

“We’re good. Honestly. We did what we needed to do to get through the night.” But I couldn’t face him as I spoke. Rather I dug the edge of my nail into a groove on the table.

Sitting beside me, his hand settled on my thigh, and I fought against the itching need to push it off.

I liked Elliot, he was a sweetheart through and through, but last night? That had been one of the most amazing nights in my life, even if I knew it wasn’t going to turn into more. It just couldn’t. I couldn’t trust what would happen. A couple of weeks at most, and then he’d be gone, one way or another. I’d push him away, or he’d walk away, or he’d promise me the world at the same time as he promised someone else that too.

Last night we muddied the waters between friendship and something more.

Despite another middle-of-the-night storm, I was comforted and warm enough to fall back asleep. Every time I moved, his hand was around my waist, holding me close. The whole thing had been as natural as breathing, and yet, in broad daylight, it feltlike it had elevated our status to something more. But what?

We’d also been intimate in a way that hadn’t been physical. I’d shared pieces of myself, as had he, and now in the spotlight of a fresh new start, I felt raw and exposed. No one had seen me the way he had, and I didn’t know how to deal with that. I wanted to hide, to get away, to put my metaphorical armour back on. But how?

I liked Elliot, I really did, but I wasn’t sure I could be more to him, and deep down, I was already feeling bad that I had used him to help me get through the night.

“Is that all we did? We just used each other?” A cool patch developed on my leg when he removed his hand.

“Yeah.” I nodded, keeping my focus on the leaves gently blowing in the breeze. “Now we go back to our regular lives.”

“And what about us?”

“Whataboutus?”

“What becomes of us? I … well, we … we kissed. It meant something to me. Didn’t it mean anything to you?”

I swallowed, turning away as I looked toward the main road through town. Ripping the Band-Aid quickly was supposed to be easier than slowly removing it, right? And I had dumped and ghosted many guys before, so why was it so hard to push this one away?

My heart pounded and my fingers tingled as a nasty knot formed in my gut.

One. Two. Three. Rip.

“We did what we needed to get through the night; I helped you, you helped me, we leaned on each other and we made it through. I told you last night, I’m not good with relationships. I’m the type of girl who brushes a sweet guy like you off, and not because you’re not a Class A kind of guy or anything, but because I can’t trust how—”

“Oh. I get it. So, in essence, you used me.” The pain in his voice cracked my heart.

“What? I… no… that’s not…” My words launched out of my mouth and my eyes out of my head.

“Yeah, you did. You just said we did what we needed to get us through the night, but I thought it was more. Itfeltlike it was more.”

In a way, I sort of did use Elliot, and I could totally see his point, but I really had my back against the wall at the time. If I didn’t have him, I would’ve self-combusted and I know that.

My big, fat mouth opened wide and let the words spew out without a filter. “Would we have been so vulnerable without the trapped situation? No. It was that event that forced us together, and the feelings that happened were a product of the circumstances. They weren’t real, even if they felt it.”

Was I saving his heart? Or protecting mine?

From the corner of my eye, a red truck rolledinto view. “Oh, oh, look! The firefighters are here.” I started waving frantically and scanning the crew for a familiar face.

Chad was with them, and the first to hop out.